Page 19 of Unlikely to Stay
Griff held out his hand for a fist bump.“Thanks, man.You saved me from a lot of explaining to do back home.”
“No problem.”
Griff walked out of the examination room and headed to the door.With a wave to Patty, he was gone.
Brant grabbed the chart for the next patient off Patty’s desk.Seeing who it was, he expelled an exasperated breath.It was none other than Burt Gallagher.Brant walked out the door separating the examining rooms from the waiting room.
“Burt?You ready?”
Burt grabbed his cane, pushed himself off the chair where he was sitting and headed toward Brant.“Took you long enough.I’m on borrowed time, sonny.I coulda died right in that chair.Then where would I be?Six feet under the ground and no one but you to blame.”
Or old age, Brant thought.You could blame old age.
Instead of voicing his thoughts, Brant smiled at the old man and hoped it wasn’t a grimace.“Well then, let’s get you back here so you can get out quickly and start living your life again.”
Brant led Burt to room one.“Tell me what’s wrong, Burt.It says here you’ve been suffering from stomach pains?”
“Well, something like that.”
“If it’s not stomach pains, then what is it?”
“It’s groin pains.”
“Groin pains?”
“I think I pulled something in my groin last time me and Kelda were goin’ at it.”
Brant shuddered before rolling his eyes.It was ridiculous and a little sad that an almost ninety-year-old man was getting more action than he was.A lotmore action, if Brant were being honest.
“Okay, I need you to pull down your pants so I can check it out.”
“I ain’t pulling down my pants.Marty told me what you did to his ass with that big ass knife of yours.No, sir.You ain’t getting no knife that close to my manhood.You might get a wild hair and chop my balls off!”
“I don’t have to do anything with a scalpel, Burt.I just need to look at the injury to make sure it really is a pulled groin and not something else.”
Burt grumbled the entire time but finally pulled down his pants.Sure enough, the area was swollen, indicating a definite pull.
“You’re right, Burt.It is a pulled groin.”
“Told ya.I can’t believe I get charged a copay for you to tell me that.”
Brant knew perfectly well it was Medicaid that paid Burt’s copay, but whatever.He just wanted the old geezer out of the clinic before he started trying to compare sex stories, of which Brant currently had zilch.“You need to ice the area and take some anti-inflammatory medication like Ibuprofen or Naproxen.I’ll show you some exercises you can do and then you’ll be back to normal.”
“I gotta ice mynuts?”
“Not your nuts.Your groin.”
“Ain’t no difference if you ask me.”Burt continued to complain under his breath about icing his manhood before finally reluctantly agreeing.
“Also, I suggest no sex for a while until the injury heals.”
“Are you kidding me?No sex.Boy, Kelda is not going to be a happy woman.I can barely keep up with her as it is.You know older women are always wild in the sack.”
Brant sighed.Fine, let the old man do what he wanted.Brant was tired of fighting a battle he wouldn’t win, anyway.“Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea but I can’t stop you.”
“I know my body.I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, then.”Brant turned to walk out the door.
“Hey, Doc?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you said no before but I’m going to ask again.”
Brant knew what was coming.“What’s that, Burt?”
“Can you write me a prescription for some Viagra?”
Brant just shook his head and walked out the door.