Page 75 of Finding Fate
“I promise I’ll be there.” We both speak out at the same time, breaking the silence.
I sigh. “Maddox . . .”
“No, Gabby, I need to say this. I’ll never be able to move on otherwise. I’m sorry I wasn’t waiting in the crowd for you to walk across the stage at your high school graduation like I had planned to be. I know it seems like I just forgot about you, which is so far from the actual truth. I should have reclaimed you the second you turned eighteen. I was angry at the world for a long time. I always knew I loved you harder than you loved me, and a huge part of me was terrified I’d show up to you in love and happy with someone else. I could live with the unknown over the possibilities. I could barely stomach the thought. There was no way I’d be able to witness it. It was a crippling fear that kept me away. I’m even sorrier that I didn’t find a way to still sneak around with you after I left to ensure the before mentioned didn’t happen. It’s a regret I’ll live with forever. God knows we’d been doing it forever it seems like. What was a few more years going to hurt? Sneaking around was better than my life without you. The point is I’m sorry. I don’t even really know why I didn’t just sayfuck alland fight for you, for him. Maybe my conscience. It’s always been my biggest weakness. I hate myself for giving up. I promise I’ll never give you up again, Gab. I’ll never leave your side. You’re right. I want this baby with you. I may be a little scared but I’m sure of it. I’ll work my ass off to give you everything, and I won’t make you do it alone. We can do this. I can give you a life that doesn’t embarrass you. Just give me time.”
My heart is crumbling. My body is absorbing his pain and aching. It’s always been this way. We just never had any real problems before. That’s the thing about being a kid. Everything is simple. You don’t understand adult issues. Your life is hanging in the balance thanks to your parents keeping you oblivious to heartache like this. Then, when you experience it young like I did with losing Maddox and then Madden, it’s like a freight train slamming into you at full speed—you’re lucky to come out of it alive.
A teardrop is hanging off the edge of his nose. I swipe it, amazed by the fact that I can bring out this much emotion in someone I love so much. Maddox thinks he has to give me the life my father wants me to have. If he’d look hard enough, he’d see all I want is him. It’s all I’ve wanted since I met him. Nothing else matters.
He’s wrong about one thing. He’s never loved me harder. I’ve always thought I had the most to lose. I was walking around hollow without him in my life, and the second I looked up and saw him sitting on that stage my heart started to beat again for the first time in years. “Maddox, why do you say it like there is any other option?”
“I know you, Gab. I can see you’re not happy about this pregnancy. It’s killing me, because I want you to be happy, but I also want it.”
I throw my leg over his hip and straddle him. He takes the hint, rolling to his back to give me his front, his dick hardening between my thighs as he rolls his eyes down my body. I lean forward, his hand instantly combing through my blonde locks. He always has his hands in my hair since I went back to my natural color. “My lack of enthusiasm isn’t on you, baby. It’s on my dad. He’s responsible for taking the joy away from this baby, away from us. Kind of hard to be excited about the very thing that terrifies you. I can’t give birth to another baby and then go home without it. Next time someone is going to die. I’m not going down without a fight. As for the rest of it, you’re the only man that’ll ever father my children, Maddox. I never asked you to pull out because I love you. I have all along. If we’re both honest, deep down we both feel like this is security to hold on to one another or else we would have tried harder to avoid accidents.” I rub my center along the length of his stiff dick, smearing my wetness up and down it. “Am I wrong?”
“Shit,” he groans, his hands going to my hips. “No. I want you untouchable. My zone only.”
Using my own strength to lift off him, I stand his dick and rub the head back and forth over my opening a few times, before pushing down on it and fighting to keep my eyes open as it enters me from how good it feels to be full.
I always had a feeling that Maddox had an impressive size below the belt, but it wasn’t until I let myself hookup with another guy that it was confirmed. Even the biggest out of the few I saw was a good bit smaller than Maddox. I start to pump as his hands glide up my sides on the way to my breasts. He squeezes, kneads and pulls, making me feel sexy even though I’ve always been smaller in the chest than I want to be. He makes me feel just right, though.
When he’s submerged deep, I change directions and start to rock, gazing down on him as he watches me with so much heat in his eyes they look like they’re blazing hot and seconds from catching on fire. He reaches up and pulls his thumb pad over the center of my bottom lip, rolling it down. I lightly bite the tip before he pulls away, grinding so hard against him that it’s getting slippery from how wet I am, but I can feel my orgasm creeping up on me. “There will never be another like you for me,” he says, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a deep rumble.
So much emotion blankets me I feel like a pillow is being pressed over my mouth. It’s hard to breathe. Oh, but I can feel . . . everything.
Layering my hand over his that’s massaging my breast, I throw my head back as my orgasm begins in tiny explosions down low and spreading upward, kissing my skin in a rain of sizzling sparks as if I’m standing next to someone welding, allowing the fire shower to hit me. Burning tingles alternate all over my body. He’s squeezing my ass cheek so hard his short nails are digging in. “Shit, baby,” I draw out. “I love what you do to me.”
A mousy knock taps on the door at the same time my voice escalates, no longer able to silence the moans. “What?” Maddox calls out, amplifying my movements on his dick to keep me from stopping, meaning he’s too close to his own orgasm. I smile from how winded he sounds. Like that’s not obvious at all. Do I care? Hell no. I’ve never been modest about our sex life. The way I see it, the more people that can hear us will know he’s off limits. He’s mine.
“Gabby,” Presley says through the door in a voice much different than I’m used to.
“Yeah?” I work hard to disguise the pleasure and fail when the vowels are way too drawn out.
He bounces me on his dick, making it look effortless and taking all the control. “Do that thing I like,” he whispers, his breathing choppy. I squeeze my muscles as hard as I can, constricting around his dick like a python and making his eyes roll back in his head. It’s obvious he’s starting to come.
“Hey, I’m sorry for interrupting, but someone is here for you. He said he’s your dad?”
All the blood drains from my face and Maddox shoves me off, harder than I’m sure he meant to, his cum already sticking to my inner thighs. “Goddammit. Fucking blue balls.”
Obviously, he wasn’t done.
“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” Presley’s voice comes through the door.
“No! We’ll be down in a second.” Maddox jumps out of bed, already stepping into his jeans that were on the floor, forgoing his boxer briefs.
“Okay. I’ll let him know.”
I push off the mattress and stand on my knees to make my way toward the edge, my heart throttling forward in my chest from the anger in his tone and the rage evident on his face. He buttons his jeans, his face blood red. That temper everyone in the house only witnessed once is coming back tenfold. I can sense it coming like bad weather—the change. It’s amazing how well he hides it.
Fear leaks out of my mind and spreads through my body. I stumble getting out of bed, but he catches me before I go down, our eyes locking. “He’s my dad,” I belt out, somewhat scared for his life. I can push back when he pisses me off or does me wrong. I can disrespect him when he’s disrespecting me, but I earned that right as his daughter. We’re blood, and blood is a hell of a lot thicker than water. A dick or not, he’ll always be my dad. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
He laughs, sending chills down my spine. It sounds off, giving me serial killer vibes, unlike Maddox at all. Very few people witness this side of him, and it’s usually related to me. A hand comes down on each bare cheek and he squeezes, showing his territory, before he forces me back to the bed. My back hits the mattress and his lips are on mine within seconds. His kiss is painful, bruising, and will no doubt leave my mouth red and my lips swollen, but I can’t find the will to pull away. He finally does, a cold, heartless bastard staring back at me; the complete opposite of everything Maddox stands for. “And you’re the love of my life. He took shit from me when I didn’t deserve it. I was good to you. He did things I can’t forget. It won’t happen again. I found my backbone and I’m going to shove it down his throat.”
He pushes off the bed and stands to his full height, his chest pumping up with every deep breath. At this very moment his body looks like one of a gorilla and not a man. Panic sets in. I get up when he turns away, already zooming all over the room looking for clothes and hobbling to get the damn pant leg up one of mine as he opens the door to leave. “Maddox!”
His jaw locks but he stops, causing me to freeze when he looks over at me. “Try to stop me, Gabrielle, and I’ll give you a piece too. He took you more than once, and he took my son. Don’t fucking tell me not to do something stupid. If you don’t stand with me right now, you’re against me, and that’s something that’s hard to come back from.”
Without another word or glance my way he storms off, slamming the door behind him. Panic wraps around my throat like a hand, constricting my airway. Tears fall. Is he making me choose? I’m so confused. I can’t lose Maddox again. I don’t want to lose my dad either. Not like that. Ignoring him and running from him is me rebelling. It’s different. He’s still in the background. He’s the only parent I have left. A shitty, controlling one that has psychotic ways of showing he cares is better than none at all.