Page 79 of Finding Fate

And just like that, he’s back to the man I’ve always known—all business and no play—as he gets in the backseat of the car. Before I can blink it seems like, he’s gone, and a piece of my heart feels like it’s missing, just like it did when I didn’t have Maddox. If everyone wants me to make a choice, I choose both, and that’s something they’ll just have to live with.

Forty-Five

Maddox

Isit hunched over on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, wondering if I made the right call by saying that shit to her. I was angry, but I think I’d be angrier at myself if she actually took my words to heart. God knows I’m crazy about Gabby. I’ve never hidden it. But the second I heard he was downstairs I snapped. The years with her I lost came crashing in at once.

The door opens and my head jerks up. “Gabby . . .”

But my eyes lock on Riggan’s as he leans into the doorframe. He shakes his head. “Your eyes are red. She’s not worth the tears, bro.”

My eyes burn and my chest aches. “Shut the fuck up. How would you feel if I said that about Blondie?”

“You gave her an ultimatum and she—”

“Is still here.” My heart speeds up at the sound of that voice. I jump up, already walking toward her, grabbing her shirt the second she’s in reach and pulling her through the door, past Riggan, toward me. She swipes her fingertips under my eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m a fucking idiot, Gab. Don’t listen to me. I can’t move on from you. I’ve tried. I know what I said, but—”

She presses her lips to mine, calming me with one kiss. “You were right. I set things straight with my dad. Told him we’re a package deal. He can take it or leave it.”

“For once I’m glad I was wrong,” Riggan says, neither of us paying him any attention. The retreating footsteps and the closing of the door means we’re alone.

I smile. “You did?”

She nods, but something is off, causing my previous floating heart to sink. “Maddox, you didn’t come back for me because you were scared to go to jail, right? Because you were scared of my dad? You would tell me if it was an out for you, wouldn’t you? I just got to thinking, and us getting back together wasn’t so much a sought-after thing, but more of us just being in the right place at the right time.”

“Yeah, and that something would happen to my parents’ business, why?”

She shakes her head. “No reason. Was just wondering.”

“Gab, don’t lie to me.”

Tears fall down her face. “I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s not your fault.”

I ease back and sit on the bed, pulling her to straddle my lap. “We need to build on honesty, yeah? Just tell me.”

Her lip quivers, breaking my heart. “He said he would have let me keep Madden had you come back and stood up to him . . . without knowing about our son; to prove that it was for me. I just . . .” More tears fall. “Wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining what we had before you left.”

I swallow, trying to move the lump in my throat, and my vision blurs. “What? You mean had I—”

“Stop,” she snaps. “I can’t go there. It’s not your fault. We were just two scared teenagers. It’s done. We’ll never be happy if we keep living on ‘could haves’. I just want to start our lives together.”

My face is quickly matching hers, guilt slowly consuming me. “Gab, I’m sorry. I swear to God I never stopped wanting you. You’ve always been my girl.”

She plants her lips on mine, both of our tears mixing, enhancing the taste. The busted lip her dad made aches with every tug, but I don’t want her to stop. I like the pain. “Just.” Her tongue enters my mouth, swiping the tip of mine. “Never.” Her lips glide up mine, tugging on one as if she can’t stand the thought of stopping. “Stop loving me.” She grinds on my lap, making me hard. “Everything else I can live with.”

“I can’t, Gab. If I could I would have by now. I’m a pussy when it comes to you. I couldn’t even enforce what I said, scared you’d really walk away. I was seconds from chasing you down.”

She jerks her shirt off, drawing my eyes to her bare chest. “Then make love to me. We fight to make up. That’s a constant I never want to change. We can finally be free. After all this time we can be in love with no worries of someone separating us. I want to celebrate our freedom to love who we want to. God knows we’ve fought for it; sacrificed even more.”

I flip us over, instantly coming over her until I wrap my mouth around her nipple, easing her leg back as far as her jeans will allow. My tongue inches out and circles around the hard center, wetting it, and then I pull it out with my mouth until I release it, finishing her off by blowing softly across the wet, sensitive, erect middle, just before switching to the other side. Her breathing turns ragged and her fingers comb through my hair until it forms a fist in the back. She’s arching off the bed so hard I could make a rainbow with her spine.

Gabby’s tits have always been the portal to everything with her body, and I’ve always been addicted to Gabby turned on. She doesn’t have a large chest size, but she has plenty enough to confirm she’s a woman, and what she doesn’t have in size she makes up for proportionally and aesthetically.

I hate to say that I’ve seen a lot of racks since we broke up, because I wish I hadn’t, and that whole ‘tits are tits’ thing is bullshit. Some look better than others. Hers are perfect. I don’t want her to change them just for some lie someone made up that size matters, that bigger is better. I don’t want her to risk them being numb to my touch, or less sensitive from being hacked on with a scalpel. I’ve known girls that had them done. Some had no regrets and some did. I like that I can unravel her with nothing more than my mouth on them. When you love someone, you love them for who they are, and every part of them is perfect in your eyes. I figured that out pretty early on, but it was confirmed the second we broke up and I was forced to make do with other girls.

Her hands go for my jeans, working hard to shove them down. I bite her nipple just before licking it. She moans, making it harder to go slow, but there are benefits to making love to Gabby. She’s fun in the sack . . . in every category. No other girl has ever compared. Maybe it’s because we’re in love and maybe it’s because we have that much sexual chemistry, I don’t know, but with her I’ve always gone from normal to horny with one look from her.