Page 99 of Nights At Sea
The deaths weren’t my fault, I know that… but still… if I never met Gualtiero, if I hadn’t saved him that day, all these people might still be alive. But Tiero would be dead…
The thought alone makes me nauseous. What-ifs are a trap that poison the mind. I need to stay far away from that kind of thinking.
I’m embroiled in the middle of Tiero’s life and everything that comes with it. I’m not cut out for this.
I’ve never felt so hopeless in my life. People are out to get me. They will go to great lengths to get their hands on me, to use me in a high-stakes game of chess. I should have been safe in that club, surrounded by a small army, and still they got to me. They are determined enough. What if they try again? What if they succeed next time?
There are the what-ifs again… and all they do is make me feel more fearful and dejected.
Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Always in danger? Always looking over my shoulder? Never seeing the people I care about back home again because it would endanger their lives too?
I let out a long sigh.
No, I can’t go down this rabbit hole of negativity.
It wouldn’t change a thing and only make me depressed.
Onward and upward, right?
I turn onto my side and take in the sleeping man beside me.
He’s been through so much trauma in his life. Is it any wonder he is the way he is?
Fate has brought us together for a reason.
Maybe I’m his light.
Maybe I was sent by some higher power to pull him out of this darkness and change things for the better? Not just for him, but for everyone involved.
Or maybe I’m just trying to come up with a justification for why I’m here?
Am I actually considering staying with him now? Giving up on trying to get away?
I can’t see a way out of this. But there is always a way, I know there is. And it will eventually present itself. But what would my life look like if I did get away? Life as I knew it before is an impossibility. There is no going back to that carefree time.
Could I even go back to a life without Tiero in it? It seems unimaginable.
He feels like a permanent fixture by now. And I’ve known the man for less than a month.
The thing is, when I’m in his arms, nothing else seems to matter.
It’s just him and me. And the contentment and love I feel is all-encompassing.
The rush of electricity that surges through me whenever he touches even the smallest part of me never fails to turn me on.
Our connection can’t be denied. So why am I still trying?
Just watching him sleep stirs my arousal.
No!
I need to stick to my guns. If I give in now, I’ll go down a path I’ll regret.
A path of condoning what he has done, what he does and what he most likely will always do.
It’s also a path that will make me his… forever.
But resisting him is so hard.