Page 74 of A Moment Too Late
“That’s great. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
Taking the seat next to her at the table, she shows me the most recent ultrasound picture. We talk about the nursery and her upcoming baby shower. It’s not long before Spencer and Jay join us at the table, a grim expression on Spencer’s face. Mia sits back, concern consuming her features. When I look to Jay for answers, his lips are pressed together, as if he doesn’t approve of what’s about to happen.
“What?” I ask, not really wanting to know the answer, the single word slipping out before I can stop myself.
“The chief released the evidence from Sam’s case since Ben was sentenced last week.”
“Okayyy,” I say, dragging out the y in confusion. “Why does everyone look like they’re upset with this fact? That’s great. We’ve been waiting a year and a half for him to be sentenced. I’m glad it’s finally over, aren’t you?”
Looking around the table, the three of them nod in agreement as Spencer slides an envelope across the table toward me. My name is scribbled across the front in handwriting I would recognize anywhere.
She always dotted her I’s with a heart.
“What’s this?” I ask, staring at the envelope but not reaching for it.
“It was in Sam’s apron,” Spencer explains.
My next breath is audible as I suck it deep in my lungs, holding it for a few beats before slowly releasing it.
“What’s in it?” I ask, looking at Spencer, but it’s Jay who answers my question.
“It’s your graduation card.”
Turning to face my fiancé, I try to decipher the pained expression on his face. He knew about this, kept it from me, more than likely because he didn’t have a choice. Is he concerned I’d be mad at him for that or the fact that he just admitted to opening the card?
“You should read it, Andi,” Spencer urges. “When you’re ready.”
Without another word, Spencer and Mia leave. My eyes are glued to the envelope in front of me, to the heart above the I in my name.
Sam.
Even after all this time, thinking about her brings tears to my eyes and a pain in my heart. Where I once held guilt for my part in her death, in betraying her, there is now only sorrow for what happened to my friend. For the life that was stolen for her.
Acceptance healed most of my wounds but not all of them, which is why I now help others manage their grief. We all grieve differently. There are no magic words to help you heal, to manage the pain, to fix a broken heart.
They say time heals all wounds.
I say time dulls the pain.
Until moments like these where something like an envelope with a little heart on it will bring fresh tears to your eyes and grief rears its ugly head.
Good friends. Family. They all help you heal. Their support is invaluable.
If it weren’t for Jay, Spencer, and Mia, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But most of all, I have Summer to thank. Without her love and forgiveness, none of us would have been able to look at ourselves in the mirror. She really helped us see what happened for what it was.
Fate.
Because according to Sam, everything happens for a reason. That encompasses all things in life. From me silently loving Jay all those years to Ben Royal losing his shit and killing her that night.