Page 39 of On Set
HAYDEN: Kissing Eli Simms doesn’t seem like a problem at all. In fact, if you’re not interested, I’d be happy to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.
ME: Hay …
HAYDEN: Kidding. Hoes before bros. Always.
ME: I can’t date him. He’s too much.
AUSTIN: Too big? As in … you know.
ME: No, I don’t know. I mean him, as a person, as a celebrity. He cares too much. Wants too much from me. This is happening too fast. I can’t deal with it. I don’t want to get hurt.
HAYDEN: There it is! The real reason you won’t give him a chance.
ME: What?
AUSTIN: We’re all afraid of getting hurt, Tay. It’s natural. The only way to avoid it is to avoid love at all costs. That’s not living life, that’s going through the motions. Will he hurt you? Maybe. The only way to find out is to live in the moment.
HAYDEN: What she said. Plus, this is Eli fucking Simms we’re talking about. And you owe me a damn picture you slut. The last one was blurry, and no skin was showing.
ME: What do I do?
HAYDEN: Open the app on your phone, point the phone at his naked chest, or any part of him that’s naked, and press the button. Then you upload that picture to this text and make my day.
ME: Not what I meant.
HAYDEN: I know, but I made you smile, shake your head, and maybe even giggle.
ME: Did not.
But she did and we all know it. I can predict their reactions as easily as they can predict mine.
Pushing off the door, I walk over to the window and stare out at the ocean. The view still steals my breath. It’s gorgeous and it makes me wish I had someone to share it with.
Specifically, Eli.
Which is what scares me. Because he’s the first person I think of when I wake up. The last thought that crosses my mind before bed. He’s there in my dreams, kissing me. Holding me. The way I am in his.
It doesn’t help that he hasn’t stopped his daily texts ofSweet dreamsandGood morning, beautiful. Not that I’ve asked him to. I don’t want him to. But it’s a reminder that he’s here, he’s close, yet I still can’t have him. Not the way I want.
I can’t give him my heart even though it feels like he’s already stolen all the pieces and is holding them hostage.
ME: I can’t avoid him. We have to work together for a few more months.
HAYDEN: Maybe you give it a shot. Let go of the fear. Open your heart to the idea of something more than dinner with Martha every night and working crazy hours. Maybe you dream of him instead of coffee. And we vet him, of course. @Austin will meet him in Seattle, and I’m still trying to make my schedule work for that weekend. If he can handle the three of us together, he’s worth it. If not, we’ll break his heart before he can break yours. Deal?
AUSTIN: Sorry, had a client call. Reading now to get caught up.
AUSTIN: Yes, you give him a shot. You make your stance clear, though. No cameras. No media. Your relationship is not a secret so much as it is private. And you keep it professional on set. You have to separate your lives. During the day you’re coworkers. At night, you’re Eli and Taylor. Draw the line. And take the damn picture! I’m sick of hearing Hay beg, and I kind of want to see myself.
ME: You got my back?
HAYDEN: You know we do. That’s why we’re the heartbreakers, not the ones who get their hearts broken.
AUSTIN: 100%
ME: What if he doesn’t want me now? I mean, I’ve strung him along for weeks, made him wait. No man is that patient.
AUSTIN: If he’s worth it, if he means what he says, he still wants you.