Page 32 of Into the Dark

They’re my own words. From the first night he came to my house. I soften a little more. When he pulls me into his arms I sag against him, breathing in the scent of him. How can he do this? How? No—not how, why? Why is he doing this?

But I know the answer to that. He’s doing it for me. For us.

I’m going to change. I am changing. Just give me time, baby, please. I’ll do whatever I need to do.

“You told me this isn’t how it’s done,” I whisper against his chest. “You told me things would be awful for you if you did that—this. You said going to prison would be nothing compared to what will happen to you if you tell the police anything.” I pull back to look up at him. “That’s what you told me.”

His face is still soft, mouth half-smiling. “Yeah. I did. But that was before.”

“Before what?” I know the answer before he says it.

“Before you.” He smooths my hair back over my shoulder then kisses me on the forehead. I fold myself into his arms, settling my head on his chest again.

“Alex, please don’t be angry with me. This was the only way. I think I’ve always known that, but I wasn’t brave enough to admit it. Now, when I see what my life could look like on the other side, it’s not so hard. Not so scary. But I need to know I have you.” His tone is so soft, but there’s something else in it—or rather, something lacking. Something like conviction.

“You have me. I’m here,” I say, tightening my hold on him. I feel him relax, and I lift my head to kiss him, deep but tender. He holds my face in his hands, fingers stroking my cheek.

The sound of a knock on the door pulls me out of the warm comfort of Jake’s mouth. He moves away from me to answer it. I notice the closer he gets to the door the taller he stands, and the more tense his shoulders get. With a deep breath, he pulls his head up and the door open.

Dressed in jeans and a crumpled gray shirt, Mark looks furious as he walks into the room eyeballing Jake. “Are you fucking insane?” he snarls at Jake as soon as the door’s closed. “Telling her? Involving her? I mean, seriously? What the fuck were you thinking?”

Jake’s body tenses further. I think I might even hear him growl under his breath from where I’m standing. He takes a step toward Mark. “What was I thinking?”

“This has nothing to do with her,” Mark states.

Jake’s glare is ice-cold. “Yeah, well, if only you’d remembered that when you showed up at her house with your fucking envelope.”

Mark looks away briefly, guiltily. “I was trying to protect her. From you. From this mess.”

“Noble, detective. Very fucking noble. How’d that work out for you?”

Mark glares back. “It was working out just fine before you crawled in here last night.”

Jake looks a little ruffled by that and doesn’t appear to have a comeback ready.

Mark looks at me. “Alex, this is serious. The people around Jake are dangerous, extremely dangerous, and you two being involved again…” Mark shakes his head. “It’s the reason I came to you. The reason I hoped you’d end things.”

“It wasn’t the only reason, though, was it?” This comes from Jake. There’s an odd look on his face. Guilt maybe.

Mark says nothing, his face a mask.

“Is he safe?” I ask Mark. “Can you keep him safe?”

A shadow moves over his face, but then it’s gone and he’s serious and businesslike again. “If he does what he’s told then yes, I can keep him safe.” He looks at Jake—another warning, I think—and then he looks at me again. “But having you inside of this is not something I would advise. Your being together is not something I would advise. It complicates things.”

“I’m not giving him up.” My voice is strong. Certain. “Not again.”

Jake still has that look on his face—guilt and remorse and maybe even regret. Fear creeps up my spine. I go toward him and take his warm hand in mine.

“Whatever happens now, we stay together.” I say this to Jake.

“The fewer people involved, the safer these things tend to be,” Mark says.

“These things? Oh, because you do things like this all the time, I gather?” I ask.

Mark frowns.

“This may be just another job to you, Mark, something you do every day, but this is our lives. This is Jake’s life, and now…my life.”