Into the Dark

I always knew it would happen. I always knew the day Alex found out the truth about me, was the day I’d lose her. And I did. She did what she had to do, she let me go, and I don’t blame her for it. I’d hidden too much from her, things she might never forgive me for, and now I can’t stop thinking about the look in her eyes when she told me she couldn’t love me.

Alex was the light, wholly unconnected to the dark filthy parts of my life and I’ll do whatever I have to do to get her back. Including betraying those who made me who I am. I may not get out of this world alive, but I know I can’t live in it any longer. And she’s worth it. She’s worth risking everything for.

I told myself a lot of lies from the moment I met Jake. And when I was confronted with the truth about who he was, I told myself a few more. Including the worst lie I’ve ever told - that I couldn’t love him.

The truth is, I’m incapable of not loving him. Despite who he is and the things he’s done. Despite the lies he’s told and the sins he still hides. None of it matters. None of it compares to the man he is when he’s with me. We shouldn’t work, I know this. Being with him is dangerous, I know this too. But I can’t be without him either.

His sins might belong in the dark, but I’m going to make sure he’s free of them, even if it means a few sins of my own.