Page 134 of Into the Dark
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He frowns harder. He looks irritated now, which only darkens my mood. I’m sure he’s never had to have these kinds of discussions with any of his other women before.
“Okay, and so what happens the next time you’re bored and drunk and some gorgeous lap dancer is all over you? What happens then, Jake?”
His eyes narrow. “What the fuck do you think happens then, Alex?”
“I’m asking you.”
“You’re asking me if I’d screw around on you. If I’d cheat on you. Seriously, Alex? That’s what you’re asking me here.” He sounds utterly incredulous. Furious and incredulous.
I glance away from the dark look in his eyes. “No. I don’t know.” I shake my head. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me. It’s never once crossed my mind that he would cheat on me. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then would you mind translating for me what the fuck it is you do mean, baby? Because I’m not getting it.”
“I just mean…well, what happens when you realize being with me, living the kind of life I lead, with me, isn’t exciting or thrilling, and what happens when you get bored with it?” I look back at him, my head a violent whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. This has to be a hormonal thing. Because I’m bloody pregnant.
He stares at me for a long moment before finally his eyes soften, his mouth too, his shoulders dropping into a relaxed stance. “Is that a question?” he asks.
I give him a half-nod. “Yes.”
He smiles a little. “What happens when I get bored of you? That’s what you’re asking.”
“Yes,” I answer. “I’m not like the women you’ve been with in the past, and right now that’s different—it’s maybe even what attracted you to me. But what happens when I’m not different anymore and you feel trapped and fenced-in and some gorgeous young dancer wants you and I’m calling and whining for you to come home to me?” He won’t want to come home to me. Especially not when there’s a newborn baby screaming the place down and he’s been at his club all night working.
He steps in closer, pressing me back against the car with his body and drawing both hands up to my face. Palms on my cheeks, he tilts my head back and forces me to look up into his eyes. The look in them is soft and warm and filled with love. It doesn’t stop the stupid hormonal panic from making my tongue move though.
“You’ll get bored of coming home to me eventually. I don’t want to be the boring, square girlfriend you dread coming home to.” Ben got bored. How could Jake not? Jake, surrounded by women throwing themselves at him. I feel sick again. Hormonal, emotional, and sick. Is this what pregnant feels like? God, I hate it.
“Bored,” he says. It’s not a question.
I shrug, nodding.
“Bored of what, Alex? Bored of looking at the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen? Bored of hearing her talk and listening to her laugh? Bored of stroking her hair until she falls asleep in my arms? Bored of being inside her body? Bored of being in the same space as the only other person on earth who gets and understands me and loves me for who I am? Bored of being with the woman I love?” His voice is soft, but there’s so much strength in it. He begins to stroke his thumb over my cheek as he stares deeper into my eyes. “Baby, what the fuck is it you think I’d rather be doing, exactly? I’ve waited my whole fucking life for you; why would I give a minute of you up to be anywhere else now I have you?”
Great, now I’m going to cry. “I’m sorry,” I sniff, tears welling up behind my eyes.
“Don’t be sorry, baby. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. Just listen to me and understand what I’m saying. I love you. I’d be with you every second of every fucking day and I’d still feel like I were missing out on you.” He leans into me, pushing his hips into the front of my body. I’m surprised to find him a little hard. It sends a jolt of calming heat through my body. When he kisses me, it’s slow and deep and full of meaning.
I pull back, licking my lips. “Well, you are missing out…on exciting public pool table sex.”
He makes a little groaning noise. “Alex, there was nothing exciting about it, trust me. “
“Oh, I thought you couldn’t remember it.”
“I remember too much of it.” He sounds regretful about that.
“So then it wasn’t even a little bit exciting? Public sex is exciting. Or so they say.” As jealous as I am, the idea itself is exciting.
“Trust me, non-public sex with the woman I love is far more exciting.”
A warm, slow coiling begins around my belly and thighs, and I move my fingers up to curl them around his upper arms, digging in hard. I want him. Now. “What about exciting public sex with the woman you love?”
Something flickers over his face—something dark and hot. His eyes narrow a little with interest. “What are you saying?”
I give him my most innocent smile before reaching forward to graze my hands over the front of his jeans. “I think you know what I’m saying.” I bite my lip and tug on the waistband, hoping to tempt him. Under the material I feel him harden all the way, and so I bring my hand down to rub the front of his jeans.
“Are you serious?” he asks quietly.