Page 56 of Into the Dark

“I really want to be inside you here,” he says. Then he presses his tongue against it again, flicking it over the opening, his breath soft and hot.

My tummy flips again. Oh.

“I’ve never…done that…” I tell him. Then, embarrassingly, I feel the blush creep up my neck and face. I bury my face back in the duvet.

He sits back on his knees and nods. “I got that impression.” His eyes are gentle. Nonjudgmental. I feel myself relax. “It’s not a deal-breaker or anything, baby. And I won’t ever do that again if you don’t want me to.” He skims his hand up the back of my thigh, reassuring me.

“It was strange…at first. But it wasn’t…awful.”

He gives me a half-smile. “Not awful. Okay, that’s good. I think.”

I smile back, turning my body so I’m sitting facing him. “So…” I’m not even sure why I’m asking this because I already know the answer. “You have then? Done that before.”

He takes too long to answer. It makes me wonder if he’s remembering all the times he’s done it, and the women he did it with. Finally, he nods. He looks regretful when he says, “Yeah. I’ve done it before.” He says it quietly. I wonder briefly if there’s anything he hasn’t done. A question for another time.

“And you enjoyed it? I mean, clearly…” I shake my head, feeling foolish.

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I love being with you, baby.” His hand finds mine and he squeezes. “Everything with you is better than anything else. Before.”

It’s such a cheesy line, but his expression is so utterly genuine I feel my heart beat a little faster. I give him a slow smile. “I’ll think about it, okay?” I tell him.

He looks a little surprised, I think, but then another look crosses his face—one I know very well, fueled by heat and need: desire. “Okay. But there’s no pressure. None.” He widens his eyes for emphasis.

“I know.”

He says nothing for a few seconds as he stares up at me. Then he crawls onto the bed and settles behind me, nose against my ear. He presses a kiss to the back of my neck as his hand comes around my body to pull me tight against him.

“What do you like about it?” I ask. “About that kind of sex.” I’m genuinely curious. I know why men are supposed to like it, but I want to know Jake’s reasons.

“Before, I guess, it was because it felt kinda…wrong. But with you…now. Now I want it because I’m the only one who’s ever been inside you like that.” He strokes his hand across my chest and down. “It sort of makes it feel like you belong to me.” His voice is rough and low, and like always when he’s turned on, the East End accent peppers some of the syllables.

A shiver rolls through my whole body. “I do belong to you,” I whisper.

“Do you?” he asks as his hand slips between my legs again. When he pushes a finger into me I moan out loud, pushing back against him. He licks at my ear before kissing my neck again. “Do you belong to me, Alex?”

“Yes,” I manage.

Jake groans, biting softly at the skin of my neck as he moves another finger inside me. “Tell me you love me,” he commands.

“I love you,” I tell him. “I love you so much…”

Christ, I’m going to come. He always makes me come like this. With precise movements of his fingers and his thumb he begins to tease my orgasm from me. Precise. Neat. Breaths. Soft. Wet. Licks. Gentle. Bites. Moans.

“I love you too, baby. You’re so fucking perfect. You’re mine.”

I feel his other arm snake under my head and around my neck, and then he pushes his fingers into my mouth. They taste of salt and skin, and as I bite down on them it takes every bit of my control not to bite too hard. I want to bite hard. He speeds up the movement of his fingers below as they slip inside me, fucking me. On each thrust of his fingers he grunts deliciously against my ear.

“So tight…so soft…” he moans.

Oh my god.

“Jake…please. I need you…now,” I plead, twisting my head to kiss him.

He kisses me back hard before I feel his fingers leave my body. Gaping. Throbbing. Unfurling his limbs from me, he sits up, reaching across to the nightstand to the lift the dark foil packet.

That’s when I remember.

That’s when I remember the thing I almost managed to forget about since I opened the door and found him here like this, waiting for me. Why am I calling it a thing? Oh, that makes me feel strange. Guilty even. That’s not what it is. It’s a baby. Our baby.