Page 136 of Into the Dark
“’Cause when I saw you, I thought, ‘Look at this elegant, pristine, classy wet dream.’”
I have to bite back a smile as the heat creeps to my face.
“But underneath, you’re fucking filthy, aren’t you?” He gives a lascivious grin.
“Oh, am I now?”
“Yeah. You’re both. It’s such a fucking turn-on.” He licks his lips.
“I’m glad I turn you on, but I’m not filthy. I’m just…very different with you.” I wink.
“Never fucked outside before then?”
“Nope, which I’m sure you’ll be very surprised to hear. There are so many things I hadn’t done before you…” I feel embarrassed by it sometimes, my lack of experience. But I suppose if I’d had lots of experience when I met him I wouldn’t be me. So it’s a pointless thing to feel embarrassed about.
When I lift my eyes he’s looking at me intensely. “Me too,” he says.
I give him a skeptical look. “Oh, really? Like what? What exactly hadn’t you done before me?”
“Been in love,” he says simply, and my breath catches in my throat. “I thought I had been, but it was bullshit. Love is wanting to protect and be better. It’s wanting to spend your life trying to make a person happy. So yeah, before you, I had no fucking concept of what it means to be in love.”
This time I do cry. The tears well up quickly behind my eyes and roll down my face. He moves toward me to comfort me, but I shake my head and smile, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.
“You make me so happy, Jake,” I tell him. “And you’re changing your life for me and putting yourself in danger to do it, and I just…” The tears are falling again, and this time he reaches out to take my hand, squeezing it in his.
“Shh…it’s okay, baby. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not. I mean, I am. Ugh, sorry, I’m just hormonal and a mess and I love you so much.”
He gives me this smile, so filled with love that the warmth from it takes up my whole chest, and I know I can’t keep it from him for another second.
I open my mouth. He opens his. We speak in unison:
“Jake, I’m pregnant,” I say.
“Marry me,” he says.
His mouth drops open. As does mine.
“What did you say?” I gasp.
“Never mind what I said—what the fuck did you just say?”
“You just asked me to marry you!”
“Yeah, I know that, Alex. Now tell me what you just said.” His voice is a touch higher than normal, suspicion clouding his turquoise stare.
I swallow, watching his face very closely. “I’m pregnant.” When he says nothing, I add, “I’m having your baby.”
His mouth is still open wide as all sorts of colors and emotion start to move over his face. He pales first, then he turns red, then his breathing speeds up, and he licks his lips.
“You’re…you’re pregnant?”
I nod. He nods. Then he stops nodding and starts to shake his head.
“How?” he asks, and I frown. “I mean, I know how, but I thought…you were on the pill.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “I was. But I was…thoughtless.”