Page 143 of Pinch of Love
“So, you found Rob who fit that mold.”
She nodded. “A self-fulfilling prophecy. But you started to show me that maybe I was likable. I think that was when the panic set in.”
Maya stopped walking and looked around the kitchen and family room that looked like a frat party had been thriving the last week.
“I just need to tidy up a bit, take out the pizza box from yesterday and stuff.” I shrugged, laughing.
She turned around and smiled. “Maybe you didn’t do so hot without me?”
“Not at all.”
“In the vein of being open and honest, I didn’t just back away because of my insecurities. I was worried I’d hurt you, and you’ve already been through so much. I didn’t want to be the one who put you there again.”
I nodded and let out a deep breath. For the first time in days, it felt like I could finally exhale and not feel trapped.
“Since we’re being open and honest...” I tugged on the bottom of my shirt and lifted it over my head.
My eyes connected with Maya’s. “This scar right here, the one you asked about and I shut it down?”
She nodded, her eyes staying locked on mine.
“I did it to myself.”
Maya flinched, but her eyes never left mine. “I was being reckless. It hadn’t even been a month after Freya’s passing. It was winter with minus twenty temps, and I took the snowmobile out at midnight with no gear on. I was wasted, but I didn’t care.” I shook my head. “Within minutes, I’d crashed into a tree.”
Her hands slowly rose to her mouth. “Cash, I had no idea.”
I nodded. “Even though I was out of my mind, I had enough sense to call my brother. He was with my dad, and they found me down the road from my house. I was lucky I didn’t bleed out or freeze to death, but I think since it was so cold, it helped with blood loss. I don’t really know.”
Maya hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”
“My dad and brother always thought I was trying to do myself in. Maybe on some level, I thought about it, but I wouldn’t ever want to do that to my family. I think I was just being an idiot and my guardian angel said,not today.”
Maya nodded, but she didn’t say anything. Maybe this would scare her off. It was why I hadn’t told her before.
“And that day I was going to pick up supplies for the new house, I had another place to go.”
Maya swallowed. “Yeah?”
“It was my wedding anniversary.”
“Oh, my gosh,” she whispered.
“I went to where I felt closest to Freya, to a public park that has this gorgeous lake and beautiful gardens.”
Maya just listened quietly.
“It was where I’d asked her to marry me.”
“How beautiful.”
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s attached to a cemetery called Sunset Perch, so I’m not sure it would be that many females’ romantic dreams, but it was Freya’s.”
Maya chuckled and nodded.
“Anyway, I told her about you and that I vowed to keep an open mind and heart. I think I was secretly searching for a sign. I left her favorite flowers on the bench I’d had made for her.” I looked at the pink daisies. “And I walked away knowing that I could finally leave the ghosts of my past behind me.”
“I’m so sorry, Cash.” She looped her arms around my waist as I set the flowers down, and she looked into my eyes. “What were her favorite flowers? Freesia? Roses? Alstromeria?”