Page 19 of Count Down
“I’m not going.” I need to be honest with him. Or he’ll keep trying to push me.
“What do you mean you’re not going?” He looks angry, but he also looks like he knew there was going to be an argument about this. “We agreed that this was your last year to do ballet. And then you would focus on a career.”
“We didn’t agree to that!” The sound of my voice raises to match his.
“I said if you didn’t make soloist this year you’d have to move on. Did you make soloist?”
“You know I didn’t.” I grit my teeth as I answer him. “I didn’t make soloist and I didn’t agree this was my last year.”
“I’m done paying for you to keep playing ballerina!” He booms.
“You won’t have to!” I yell. “I’m moving out!”
“Oh, hoho!” He mock laughs. As if the idea of me moving out was so absurd. “With what money? Do they take dancers at the Salvation Army?”
“You realize I have apayingjob at PBT, not to mention that I’ve been teaching?”
“Then why have you been living off of us all this time?” He yells.
“I thought you wanted me here,” I yell back.
“What I want is for you to do what I say!”
“Well, I already found a place.”
“Then you better start packing!” He glares at me. He thinks I’m bluffing.
I head toward the stairs. As I walk past him, I quietly say “I’ve already started.”
17
LUCA
As much asI regret having kissed Gina today, I can’t stop thinking about it. I know I should just end everything between us. I don’t need to use her to get to her father. Not anymore.
But here I am, back in Chestnut Hill, watching the Nicoletti residence. I want one last look at her before I cut all ties. Before I never see her again.
Gina shows up a little after 6:30. She parks her Acura TLX in the driveway, but she doesn’t immediately get out. She’s hesitating. It’s different tonight.
Finally, she gets out of the car and heads in carrying her dance bag. She’s not as energetic as she usually is after dance class. She’s moving more stiffly and slowly. Her shoulders are slightly hunched instead of held down and back as she usually walks. Did something happen to her earlier? Was it because I kissed her?
She enters the house. I see her silhouette pass by some windows as she heads to the kitchen. I can’t see her clearly, just occasionally when she moves in front of a window.
Another figure moves into the kitchen. As he passes into the light, I see it’s her father. I can see him through the window, standing by the counter. But I can’t see Gina. I can tell he must be talking to her. He’s gesturing animatedly.
I lower the window in my car. I can hear a male voice shouting in time with her father’s gestures. Somewhere in the house, a window must be open. It’s not loud enough any of the neighbors will care, but anyone walking by would know what’s going on inside.
I hear Gina’s voice raised in response. It’s quick. I can’t understand the words. Her father looks like he’s laughing, though he’s still standing over her, doing his best to dominate the exchange. He yells again.
Suddenly, Gina walks quickly out of the room, toward the front of the house.
I watch for her, wondering if she’s heading to the front door. Instead, I see her bedroom light turn on. She’s up in her room. As she passes briefly in front of the window, she puts both her hands on top of her head. I expect to hear her scream, but all I can hear is the summer song of the tree crickets.
Gina moves around her room. It almost looks like she’s pacing, moving back and forth between different corners. But sometimes she moves to the bathroom. It almost looks like she’s rearranging her room. Occasionally she pauses, typing on her phone.
After a while, the living room lights go off and her parents head upstairs. Gina eventually stops moving around. I keep watching until Gina finally turns off her light.
I’m curious what happened. But that’s all it is, curiosity. I have a job to do. I have commitments. My life is cast. There’s no room for me to explore curiosity or anything else.