Page 7 of Count Down

She hugs me and congratulates me. It feels more like she’s doing it because that’s what she’s supposed to do. My father looks at me but says nothing. I don’t thank him for coming. He looks like he got dragged here.

Instead, I thank my mother. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course…”

That’s how she is. She’ll pretend to forget an argument in the hopes that it will just go away. I guess that’s how you’ve got to be if you’re going to be married to my father for that long. He’s stubborn. I know I got that from him.

My mother chats with Archie and I tune them out. I look out at the crowd and wonder. Is this the last time that I’ll be performing here? My choreography is being performed in the showcase this summer, but I’m not dancing in it. Will I come back for next season? I’m not sure they’ll make me a soloist. There’s a lot of competition. I’m good, but I’m not a natural like some of the girls. I may never make it to soloist. How long do I stay in the corps?

As my eyes wander across the crowded lobby, I lock eyes with a man on the other side. He’s tall, over six foot, so he’s easy to see. He’s looking right at me, like he was watching me.

It’s not the first time I’ve caught a guy looking at me. I’m used to it, especially when I’m so made up. Usually, they look away as soon as I notice. But he doesn’t. A shiver runs down my spine. There’s something in his expression I’ve never seen before. It’s almost… terrifying.

Instinctively, I quickly look away. It feels like something bad will happen if I keep looking back at him.

Archie notices my reaction and looks at me. He looks over in the direction where the man was. Then he pulls me into his arms in front of him. I tense at his touch. It feels more territorial than protective. He’s not telling me he’s there for me. He’s telling everyone else I’m his.

I’ve felt uneasy about our relationship for a while. But I don’t know how to explain it.

I shake off his arms. “I’m going to go pack up.” I turn to my mother. “I’ll see you at home.” I say it mainly for Archie. I don’t feel like going out with him tonight.

7

LUCA

After the show,I follow Nicoletti to the lobby. He and his wife hang around until a young woman walks up to them. She’s dressed in sweatpants and a PBT hoodie. I’m assuming that’s Nicoletti’s daughter, but he barely acknowledges her. She turns and looks across the crowd. I realize that she’s the dancer who was in the front line ofTheKingdom of the Shades. Her face looks more passive scanning the crowd than it did while she was dancing, but the pain is still there.

Her eyes meet mine. I should look away. It’s dangerous to be noticed, but it’s too late. She’s looking at me and I’m looking at her and I’m frozen. I’m seeing too clearly. It almost scares me to see that kind of pain in someone else’s eyes. Like they think the world has given up on them.

Then her face changes, and she looks quickly away from me, a flash of disgust crossing her face. As if she knows who I am. The guy that was standing next to her pulls her in close to himself. I hadn’t noticed him before.

It angers me. I almost started to feel bad for her. For what I thought I saw in her eyes. But she is Nicoletti’s daughter. From everything I know about him, she’s probably as spoiled and as entitled as they come. She doesn’t know real pain. She’s probably upset her father didn’t buy her the right series of Mercedes. Whatever I saw in her performance must have been acting.

I head out ofthe lobby and tothe exit.I’ll wait around outside and see how Nicoletti gets home.

8

GINA

Two weeksafter our final performance, I’m back at the theater for a company fundraiser. A dinner is being held in the black box, an informal convertible space next to the main theater that PBT uses for smaller performances and other events. Some of the principals and soloists are giving the major donors backstage tours, and corps members have other random jobs.

Alvaro Perez will be announcing company promotions at the dinner. Tonight, I’ll find out if I make soloist or not. If I do, I’m sure I can convince my father that I have a future in ballet. Even if he’s not excited for me, he’ll have to approve of me continuing to dance with PBT next season. If I don’t get it… I don’t know.

Lexi and I are working the check-in table at the fundraiser. Basically, we just help people find their name tags, show them where they’re sitting, and encourage them to bid on the silent auctions. It’s easy, and Lexi’s running commentary keeps me entertained.

I finish showing an older couple to their seats and head back to the check-in table. Lexi’s there, but so is Tori, a principal dancer. She’s sitting in my seat and looking mildly frustrated.

She turns to me when I get back to the table. “You’re giving the next tour.”

“What? Why?”

“Beats me. I guess somebigdonor specifically requestedyou.” She crosses her arms in front of her.

“I don’t know how to give the tour.”

Tori rolls her eyes at me. “You just take them through the wings, show them the stage and the dressing rooms.” She waves her hand in front of her.

“Well, who am I giving the tour to?”