Page 56 of A Royal Obligation

Jules felt her heart shatter again at Charlotte’s question. It cut her deeply that she was falling for Barrett and couldn’t be with him, but Charlotte could when she didn’t even know if she could ever care for him in that way.

“You’ll know that someone is your forever deep within. They’ll be someone you wake up and go to bed thinking about. Someone who makes you the best version of yourself. Someone who you can’t imagine living another day of your life without.” Jules listed off everything she felt about Barrett, further chipping away at the cracks in her heart with every word.

“It’s hard to decipher where my feelings are at with Barrett when there’s been this unspoken expectation for my whole life that I would marry him.” Charlotte paused and let out a deep breath. “Sorry to unload all of this on you. I think talking through something out loud is sometimes all I need.”

“I’m glad you trust me enough to talk to me about all of this,” Jules said, her words making her stomach sink like an anchor dropped to the bottom of the ocean.

The guilt she felt for kissing Barrett sunk in even more and made her feel like she was going to be sick. She was someone who valued and longed for loyalty and trust so much, which made her feel even worse for what she was doing. What she had done.I need to tell her. I need to just say it.

Jules opened her mouth to speak when a knock sounded at the door, and Rory speed-walked over to answer it.

“Oh, wow. What a beautiful arrangement.” Rory accepted a large bouquet of flowers from Wadsworth and carried them over to Jules’s dresser, setting them down gently. “There’s a note.”

Rory extended the envelope to Jules and she instantly knew who it was from. The unease in her stomach intensified.

“Ooh, open it.” Charlotte let out a little squeal.

Jules swallowed down a gulp along with feelings of guilt and regret and opened the envelope. She pretended to read it and then tucked the paper back inside, setting it on her nightstand. “How sweet. It’s from the staff wishing me well after the horseback riding accident.” She internally winced at the lie.

“Aw.” Charlotte’s hand flew to her chest. “That is so sweet. Everyone is so lovely here.” She stood and smoothed down the front of her skirt. “I should be going. I was planning on trying to sneak in a walk with Barrett. See you at dinner?”

Jules nodded and tried to give Charlotte her most sincere smile. “See you then.”

After Charlotte left, Jules grabbed the note and let out a huff. She flung herself onto her bed, letting her face fall into the pillow as she tucked the letter to her chest like it was a precious treasure.

“Jules,” Rory started. “I know it’s not my place. But do I even dare ask who the flowers are actually from?”

“I think we both know who they’re from.” Jules sat up and opened the envelope, carefully pulling out the letter.

My Dearest Jules,

I have sat here far too long trying to figure out how to put into words how utterly relieved I am that you’re safe. I don’t know what I would have done if you had been injured. Like my brother, I have still been nervous around horses after what happened to my mother, but I don’t think I have ever been as terrified as I was in that moment hearing you scream and not knowing if I could save you. I am so thankful that you are okay.

I remember you mentioning how much you loved pumpkins and everything fall, so I had Wadsworth fetch the most autumn-inspired floral arrangement he could find. I hope that it brightens your day and reminds you that I am thinking of you.

Am I even allowed to say that? Because it’s true. I think about you all the time. Not in a creepy stalker sort of way. More in a ‘you have become one of the most important people in my life’ sort of way.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it. Over the past three months, you have become my most trusted friend, aside from Wadsworth. Even more than that, you have taught me so much about myself and have made me a better man. I can never thank you enough for the impact you have had on me. You have helped me see life as more than my duty to the Crown, and I will forever be grateful for that.

I hope you know that I never wanted to hurt you, Jules. And I hope you don’t hate me for what I said. I think so highly of you and would be heartbroken to lose your friendship entirely. I deeply apologize for what has happened and I wish things could be different, but I have to put my country first.

Please let me know if you need anything at all for the duration of your time here.

Yours,

Barrett

“I’m a despicable human.” Jules put the note back and flopped onto her bed.

“You are not. You’re a girl in love. You can’t always choose who you fall in love with.” Rory walked closer to her. “But, Jules, what if he did choose you?”

Jules shook her head adamantly. “I’m not royalty. If he did choose me, he would have to give up the throne, and I can’t ask him to do that.” Tears began to gather in Jules’s eyes, and Rory leaned over, wrapping an arm around her.

“I wish love could be enough,” Rory whispered to her.

“Me too.” She squeezed Rory even tighter and grabbed a tissue, dabbing at the tears that had pooled in her eyes. “Thanks, Rory. You truly are the best.”

Jules pulled her phone out of her pocket and her eyes widened when she noticed that she had missed four calls from her mother.