Page 25 of Codename: Dustoff
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
Other than receiving a very short text letting me know that she was okay, had a string of tests at the doctors, and would see me on Saturday, I hadn’t heard from her again. Did see me on Saturday mean at our weekly group? Did that mean at our holiday dinner? Thankfully we’d been so busy prepping for our big night that it distracted me from obsessing over these details and replaying Sunday night in my head over and again. I worried that between when I’d seen her last and now that she would talk herself out of exploring a relationship with me.
“Damnit!” an entire tray full of lava cake filled ramekins went crashing onto the floor. “Stupid, fucking, slippery piece of shit!”
Even throwing the tray in the sink and slamming the oven door shut didn’t make me feel any better.
“Here, let me help.” Gemini ducked down with her oven gloves on and began picking pieces up off the floor before I could tell her I didn’t need her help.
“I’ve got this,” I told her.
“I know you do. But with two of us, it gets cleaned up faster and then we can talk about what’s really bothering you.”
“What’s going on?” Finn walked into the room, spotted us on the floor trying to contain the mess, grabbed a pair of gloves and dove in with the assist.
“Just a stupid off-balance tray. I should have been paying more attention. My wrist couldn’t compensate for all the little ramekins shifting. I’m sorry I ruined your trial run, Gem.”
“It’s just dessert.” She went to put her hand on my shoulder and realized it was covered in chocolate goo. “It’s nothing that can’t be cleaned up and remade.”
“I was coming in here to remind the two of you that you still have your support group meeting, and it starts in thirty minutes.”
Finn took the broken ramekins from Gemini’s hands, kissed her, and told her to go get ready. I watched him walk back toward the bar, call to the servers who were setting up in the dining room, and asked them if they could finish cleaning up the floor.
“Go wash up and I’ll walk with you to the resort.”
It was a rare occurrence that Finn wanted to just randomly take a walk with me. If he had talking he wanted to do it was usually right at the bar, or on the back porch. We weren’t the walking and talking type.
“I know you’re all twisted up still.” He batted his opening volley as soon as we got outside, “Her leaving was a result of her feeling ashamed over what happened. That’s it.”
I tried to sound unaffected and detached. “It’s fine. We aren’t really anything but a couple of friends that got caught up in the heat of a moment.”
Even as I said it I could feel the lie weigh heavy on my tongue. I didn’t want to just be friends with her. I wanted her to be mine. To look at me the way Gemini looked at Finn.
“You better go back and shower.” Finn pushed against my shoulder. “Because that is the ripest load of a shit I’ve ever heard. You dig her. I know you do, so don’t hide from how you feel.”
“Finn, it’s different for you. You just don’t get it.”
“Different for me, why? Because I have both of my arms? You think just because you lost your arm you’re what? Destined to be alone?”
His words struck like an arrow, fast and true. I hadn’t had a real date since I lost my arm. I’d met a few girls on Match or eHarmony, and despite me telling them I was an amp, when they were faced with the reality of that situation, they’d bail. Some of them didn’t even make it through drinks at the bar before having somewhere to go.
“Finn, how many women you seen me with in the last ten years?”
He kicked a pinecone on the path before answering.
“The same amount of women you seen me with. None.”
“But you could have dated, Finn. You could have joined any of these dating apps and I’m sure you could have had any number of women.”
“Maybe, but then I’d have been too distracted to notice when the perfect one literally fell right into my lap.” He chuckled, running his hand through his beard.
“You dig Amelia. It’s great that you dig her. I love watching you run around like a little infatuated schoolboy with a crush. But Amelia digs you Emmett. She looks at you the same way. So you just need to go for it, and stop being such a scaredy cat.”
“I ain’t a scaredy cat.” I make an attempt to kick him in his ass but he ducks out of the way at the last minute. “I put myself out there and every woman turned me down.”
“Because you ninny—they weren’t right for you. They were getting you ready to appreciate and act on the one that slid right into your life when you weren’t expecting it.”
Sure. So easy for him to say. Gemini made it obvious from the onset that she was interested in dating him. Amelia didn’t want to date. She wanted to figure out her life and finish up her eight weeks of required meeting attendance.