Page 11 of Imbalanced Minds

Chapter Six

Cory

This gorgeous woman sitting next to me is causing me to lose all sense of thought, yet again.

I came here to explain and apologise for my irrational behaviour, then walk away. But it seems all I want to do is hold her in my arms and comfort her. Taste her. Claim her.

She just asked me “how bad” I’d hurt the last person I cared for. Now I have to find the courage to tell her what she doesn’t already know.

I can’t keep it from her; I owe it to Iris so she can let go of her desire for me. We will destroy each other if we let it get any farther than it already has and I can’t let that happen. If I have any chance to keep her happy and safe, I’ll need to be a heartless bastard in doing so. I need her to see a portion of myself I’m not proud of. I’m not only putting our hearts on the line but our friendship too.

“Fine. You deserve to know.”

I try to compose myself for any backlash or blowback. “I won’t do relationships anymore because I hurt whoever I touch. My temper took control of me one night. She caught me off guard and she ended up getting hurt. My unpredictability is the cause for such behaviour, and I can’t trust myself not to let it happen again.

“Because of me, someone got severely hurt and although she was the first to break my heart, I was the one who left a physical scar on her.” I cry out in earnest. “It could happen again, but it’s not going to because I’m not going to let it. This may sound harsh, but you’re only a fascination to me, nothing more. You’re just an itch I needed to scratch. You have to see that it can’t and won’t happen. I let my dick get in the way of all rational thinking and you were there. I needed a hook-up, and you were the easy way out.” I stay focused on her reaction as I realise it was quite the bomb I just dropped in the hope of steering her attraction away from me.

I just lied to the one person I promised myself I wouldn’t. The truth is, I love Iris. I always have. I’d do anything to protect her, even from myself and right now it’s killing me having to do so but it’s what I have to do even if I’m wrong.

This is indeed going to break her and the friendship we have, and I’m a complete tool for it. Like I said before, she needs someone better for her than me. Someone who won’t let her down, who won’t abuse her when the going gets tough. Someone who will treat her like royalty.

Silence fills the room and I start to second guess my decision. There are no emotions on my face, I know so as I’m making it my current life’s mission to keep them buried. Seeing Iris as a shell of her former sassy and fun-loving self is painful enough without adding my drama on top. Shit, I took this too far, I think as the war wages in my mind. This has to be the way though. I have to keep her safe from me and my demons because if I hurt her, I’ll never forgive myself.

Quietly moving towards her, Iris recoils back into the couch and starts shaking her head side to side.

“All this time, no matter what I tried to make us, you always said we’d be friends and you’d be there for me! You lied!” There’s a breath of silence before it all goes the way I wanted. “GET OUT!” She screeches, eyes filled with pain. I freeze, not knowing what to do next as I never thought my plan would work. I thought she’d see through my bullshit excuses, but I guess I was wrong.

“Iris, please,” I beg, realising I got exactly what I wished for but not actually wanting this at all. Not by a long shot. And now I’ve ruined any chance of righting my wrongs with her.

Caving to temptation after all these years and having an uncontrollable temper aren’t exactly the best grounds for us to be together but losing her as a friend—I royally fucked up there.

As I move to get up, she softly whispers. “You didn’t give us a chance. You never gave me a chance—no one ever gives me a chance.”

Just as fast as she told me to get out, she jumps up and leaves me standing in her apartment. Alone. I brush a hand through my already tousled hair, regretting the day I broke my best friends’ little sisters’ heart.

Searching for my phone in my pocket, I send a quick message to Natalie in hopes she can come home and look after Iris because she should not be alone right now.

What I’ve just done was a dick move.

I just hope that over time she’ll understand my reasoning and see it’s for the best.

— Natalie —

The first thing I see upon entering my apartment are two empty wine bottles and no Iris. Knowing too well that she’ll be holed up in her room I make sure to lock up for the night because I know my girl needs me and I won’t be leaving her side.

After receiving Cory’s message, I subtly told Justie I needed to come home so I was well rested for work tomorrow. It was partially true, but the little white lie that lay within he needn’t know about.

I haven’t mentioned any of what Iris told me about the kiss between her and Cory. Sheesh no, there was no way I was wearing the brunt of that reaction; aside from it not being my place to say. He may be my boyfriend but he’s Iris’ brother too and those are boundaries I will always respect, even if I feel guilty for keeping it from him for now.

After washing up in the bathroom and putting on my snuggly pyjamas I head for Iris’ room. Opening her door carefully slow, I make my presence known. “Hey bub, it’s me. Are you okay?”

From the other side of the room, I hear faint sniffling. I knew she’d be awake, and I also know she’s nested herself amongst her blankets.

Doing what I always do, I make my way over to her bed and lay on the side of it. She normally cocoons herself for a little while before letting me in, and usually, that’s when I start talking to her about our past memories—the happier times in her life—to try and bring her to a place of contentment.

“Do you remember when we were seventeen and your brother dared us to walk into the supermarket in our pyjamas? It was so embarrassing for me, yet you owned it. I can’t believe we actually did that and all for a cheap bottle of vodka.” I chuckle but cringe at the same time, remembering the burn of the nasty alcohol as if I’d just taken a shot.

She starts to rustle around under her blankets, and I know it won’t be long until she lets me in, so I goad her with questions I know she can’t resist.

“I can’t remember what our pyjamas had on them,” I pause as if I’m deep in thought and before I get the chance to finish, she pops out of the blankets, a sad smile on her face and replies, “I had on the Ninja Turtle onesie and you know it.”

While she’s replying I make my move to slide properly in the bed as she lifts the covers for me.

“I know what you’re doing, you know. But thank you. I needed that.”

“Are you ready to talk about it yet?”

“I don’t think so. It still hurts.”

I don’t push her on the subject anymore. I lay in silence until I know she’s fallen asleep. Sometimes all you need is that little bit of comfort to see you through.