Page 24 of Imbalanced Minds
Chapter Thirteen
Cory
Taking an immense leap of faith, I dive headfirst into my past and the anguish that comes with it.
Iris places her small hand on my forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze. Those crystal doe eyes looking right through me. This is the most I’ve felt vulnerable since being around her and I know her gesture isn’t given lightly. I slowly place my hand over hers, embracing the warmth.
Craning my neck, I keep my eyes on hers scared to lose this moment. Scared she’ll change her mind and pull away again breaking our connection. I can see her walls slowly lowering, but even so, I have a long journey with her if I plan on pulling them down completely. So, without further hesitation, I tell my story.
“Thanks to Larry and his contacts, I found a new job and started working the door at a high-end club, which privacy was paid for. Believe me when I say, I didn’t see this next part coming. Working there was easy. Lots of anonymity and less bimbos constantly hitting on you. Until I met Sasha. She was beautiful and alluring. She was the very picture of collectedness and confidence that drew me in ergo becoming putty in her hands. Let’s just say she was well out of my league, but I needed the distraction.
“The first few times I noticed her she was on the arm of someone, but thereafter she was coming alone. I thought nothing of it and decided flirting with her wouldn’t cause any harm. What I didn’t expect was her to flirt back. It went on like this for a few months until one day she slipped me her number on her way out. I held it for a few weeks, in which case I never saw her, so I thought she had lost interest. It was the following week she came back, so I decided to take control of the situation. I subtly grabbed her wrist to stop her one night and asked her out. For some silly reason, she agreed.”
I still have Iris’ full attention, although the little curve of her mouth is no longer evident, so I know this is hard for her to hear. After all, I’m the one she’s been crushing on for years and she’s sitting here listening to me talk about another woman.
“I won’t go into much detail about what happened from there, but we grew a relationship fairly quickly. Before we both knew it, she moved in with me. Months went by of me working nights and Sasha gone during the day. We barely got to see each other, and she decided it was best not to go to the club I worked at so neither of us would be uncomfortable. I thought it was a little odd at first but brushed it off, nonetheless.
“A lot of time went by without seeing each other this way, but when we did it was like no other. One night I was moved to another club even more exclusive. I’m talking designer suits and Rolex’s, supercars and arrogance to boot. This particular night I got the shock of my life when Sasha walked in on the arm of a man. The same one she had been with when we met. You could imagine her surprise when she saw me. She brushed me off like a total stranger, willing me with her eyes not to say anything. It didn’t take a scientist to see the diamonds on her left hand and despite being hellish fucked off, I played her little game for the time being.”
Iris’ hand flew up to her mouth in shock at some point during my admission. As if this stunning woman next to me couldn’t be any more wonderful.
“I decided I no longer wanted to be at work where all the flashy things were laughing in my face. I couldn’t believe she played me like a fool. She was fucking married! And to a rich old prick at that. I went home at the end of my shift and sent a big fuck you to her. It was the only thing that made it any better so I got her shit, grabbed the biggest and sharpest kitchen knife I could find and started destroying it all. My anger had never been an issue before that moment, but this night it decided to show its ugly face and ugly it was. I was uncontrollable Iris; it was like I was possessed.
“She came home while I was on my tangent, not that I cared—we were done as far as I was concerned. Funnily enough, we were a joke to start with. She begged me to listen, plead with me to stop and hear her out but I couldn’t stop. All her stuff was ruined and then I understood why she never had many personal possessions at all; she wasn’t even living with me! To know she was cheating on her husband with me was the last straw. We’d been together for almost two years and I didn’t even see the signs.”
Heat burns through my veins and if I’m not careful, I’ll lose my temper and fuck up all of my headway with her.
“What happened next was the point-blank of my impending destruction. She was standing so much closer than I thought, so when I swung around, I pushed her with so much force she fell back and hit her head on the corner of our dresser. There was so much blood, and she was lying unresponsive on the ground. I thought I’d killed her. It terrified me so much thinking I had. Once I came to my senses, I went into autopilot and checked her pulse; it was weak but still there. I then called emergency and she was taken to hospital. I had to explain all of what happened to the police as well. Luckily, they saw it as an unfortunate accident and mentioned if there were to be any charges against me by Sasha they’d be in touch. I knew she wouldn’t want her husband finding out about us so I hoped she’d not lay any. Neither of us deserved what happened. To this day it still absolutely disgusts me.”
I’m really working to keep my shit together, fretting that I’ve done it and it’s over but Iris surprises me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders. She also rests her head on my shoulder as she sits beside me, acting as my happy place—my Zen and still not uttering a word. It gives me the final strength to finish what I didn’t realise I needed to release.
“My rage never diminished while I was staying in that house. The house I thought we shared as equals. I didn’t bother staying at the hospital with her or checking up on her. At the very end, I only knew she was okay because the police had rung and confirmed along with the news there were no chargers made. I couldn’t live there anymore; I took a job working for Larry again and moved back here.”
If I have any chance of saving what we could have, now is my time to pull out all the stops. She’s going to react one of two ways, and I’m hoping it’s with my balls still intact.
“With you… you’re different, Iris. You’ve always had my undivided attention, even if I haven’t shown it. While we were at school, I always wished you were mine. But then you’re Justin’s sister and the way he spoke about the kind of person you should be with, well, that wasn’t me. I could never go there even if I had the chance; we both know it was easy enough. Watching you with someone else… let’s just say it cut me pretty deep knowing we were over before we even began, and that was on me. It was then I knew I’d made the right decision to move on, at least until that blew up in my face and well…
“Being back, it’s like deja vu. It took so much self-control to leave you alone for so damn long and after seeing you dancing at Seduction, and even before then, I couldn’t stay away any longer. After that kiss… that hot as fuck kiss, I was like a wild animal let out of his cage and you became my new addiction. You’re everywhere I turn, even in my dreams. I can’t let you go and now I’m not going to. I may be an overbearing, extremely protective and maybe even jealous man but you’re mine, baby. Even if you don’t realise it yet. Justin can get screwed if he thinks I’m going to walk away. If it takes a lifetime to gain your trust, then I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m worthy enough for you.”