Page 78 of Bad Boy Crush

She dabbed her eyes with a scratchy paper napkin and attempted to pull herself together. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” May said gently.

“Yeah, tell us what that bastard did so we can hire a hitman,” Lisa said, her face stone.

Lou let out a weak laugh before taking another drink from her glass. She might as well start with the end. “He told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back.”

May gasped. Lisa’s mouth dropped open.

Lou backtracked and told them about the Southampton mansion, the house they’d stayed in, the party at her parents’ home across town. About Ant feeling out of place around her horrible friends from college, and Lou noticing she felt the same way. She skimmed over the sex but told them in detail about the storm and the way he’d cornered her, demanding to know how she felt about him.

“He said that?” May winced. “That you were just friends and just fucking?”

“To be fair, I agreed. I—I didn’t know what to say.” Lou swiped her nose with the napkin. “God. The last time this happened was when Liam said I love you. Everything spun out of control from that moment on.”

May and Lisa regarded her with matching blank looks.

“You two don’t know any of this, do you? How scared I am of thunderstorms, which might have played a minor role in my anxiety last weekend. How Liam and I were falling apart way before he cheated on me.”

Lisa raised a hand and ordered three tequila shots. When the shots arrived, she shoved one in front of Lou. “Down the hatch. Then I want to hear it all.”

Lou started with the easy part, explaining how her childhood fear of rainstorms had come about. Then she dispensed with a story she wasn’t sure she’d ever shared before. “When Liam told me he loved me, it was like my life was on fast forward. No longer were we dating and finding out what we liked about each other. It was suddenly me and him forever. We bought a house, and I changed careers and my focus totally shifted. I was in the business of the relationship rather than the fun part. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” May said sincerely.

“You know how that ended. Now Ant is saying he loves me and all I can think about is…will I lose him to the business of it? Instead, I lost him because I couldn’t articulate this on Sunday night.” She dropped her forehead into her hand. “Does any of this make sense?”

“He cornered you. You panicked. He overreacted,” Lisa summarized. “Makes perfect sense to me.”

“Have you tried talking to him?” May asked.

Lou shook her head. She’d been afraid to try and contact him. He’d been so angry when he left her house, she hadn’t wanted to risk him hating her forever. She’d never seen him that pissed off. “I thought I’d give him time to cool off.”

May flagged down their waitress. “Could you bring us an array of comfort food in the form of appetizers? We don’t care what they are. Thank you so much.”

“How do you feel now?” Lisa asked Lou.

“Scared I’ve lost him. Confused by my own hectic emotions. I mean, this is Ant. I’ve known him for years and never once did I categorize him as someone I might sleep with. Or someone who would fall in love with me. I can’t go through what I went through with Liam. Not again.”

“You won’t,” May said. “Ant isn’t Liam.”

She was right about that. Ant was nothing like her conniving ex-husband.

“But…” May paused and sent Lisa a quick glance. “I think you did the right thing.”

“May,” Lisa started.

“Hear me out.” May held up a hand. “If you would have returned Ant’s I-love-you before you were ready, you would get caught up in a whole host of future plans you’re not ready for. You have to figure out how you feel about him first, or else it’s not fair to either of you.”

“He was so hurt when he left.” She hated that she’d hurt him. Again. She’d nearly run out into the storm to catch up, but in the end, she’d thought it best to let him go. “I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not.” Lisa rubbed Lou’s back. “Like I said, he cornered you. He was pushing you at the worst possible time. There was a horrible storm, you were exhausted from traveling. You probably absorbed the tension ebbing off him all the way home and didn’t know it. He had no right to demand you to sort it out then and there.”

That sounded…reasonable. Lou looked at May.

“She’s right. In no way are you required to feel on his timeline. Have you thought about how you feel?”

“Or have you written it down?” Lisa sipped her margarita. “That helps.”