Page 24 of Kaya's King
“Good night, Kaya.”
As she falls asleep in my arms, I start making provisional plans for our future.
CHAPTER
NINE
Kaya
“I swearthe man’s trying to drive me crazy,” I grumble under my breath, not expecting anyone to hear me. It’s been over two weeks since Specks declared me as his old lady, yet aside from some very steamy make out sessions which I can’t get enough of, he hasn’t attempted to go any further. I’m not sure what he’s waiting for, either! I mean, I can tell he’s aroused, especially when I’m plastered against him, but he always repositions us, so I’m cuddled into his arms then goes to sleep. I’ve given him the signs that I’m ready for us to go further, at least I think I have.I’m waiting on him to initiate things, I don’t know how to make things any clearer.
“Who’s trying to drive you crazy?” CeeCee asks, scaring the absolute shit out of me.
Without thinking, I spit out, “Specks!” I’m out in the garden picking some fresh vegetables that Granny wanted to add for lunch and was positive I was out here by myself. “I thought I was alone out here,” I confess, my heart still racing, “so you scared the crap out of me!”
She laughs and replies, “Your granny sent me out because she said it was taking you a long time to gather her what she asked for. Are you okay, Kaya? You seem a bit, I don’t know, discombobulated or something.”
Turning to face her, the basket of veggies now forgotten at my feet where I dropped them, I admit, “I’m not really sure, CeeCee. I mean, I don’t know what to say right now except Specks hasn’t made a move on me at all. Is there something wrong with me?”
She takes my hand in hers as she lowers herself to the ground. “Tell me more so I can understand what you mean, Kaya.”
Blowing out a breath, I start speaking. “Okay, so he claimed me in front of everyone a few weeks ago, right?” At her nod, I keep going. “Well, that night, he started staying in my room, sleeping in my bed which I was expecting. Anyhow, outside of kissing me, and some steamy make out sessions there’s been nothing else.”
“Have you talked to him?” she gently probes.
“About this?” I manage to squeak out. “No. I mean, he said he would take things at my pace, but dang it all, CeeCee, I’m lost here. I’ve all but jumped him. With my body I’ve shown him I’mready. I move closer to him when we’re kissing. I’ve touched him and told him with my eyes that I want more. Foster was the only man in my life and well, this may sound terrible, but that part of our lives wasn’t a big deal.” At her shocked look, I try to defend him, us. “Neither of us had a clue what we were doing when we became a couple. I ended up figuring out he was very happy when I acted like I was enjoying myself.”
“So, you’ve never… orgasmed?” she asks.
“CeeCee, I used to apply lube before I went to bed just in case he was in the mood because I never really got turned on. What if I’m broken? What if it wasn’t him but was me and I can’t get off? Specks is going to be stuck with me because he said once a biker claims an old lady, it’s for life. See what I mean?”
Her face pinkens as she leans toward me, looking around to make sure no one else has snuck up on us. “Okay, so, just being blunt here, I’m going to ask you, when you and Specks are making out, do you feel as though you’re um, wet?”
I stop and think about what she’s asking me, my own face flushing in response. “Yeah,” I slowly murmur, thinking of the ache that builds up in my core whenever we’re kissing. I can feel my underwear getting damp even though his hands never stray from my face or waist, and there’s a constant, insistent throb between my legs that drives me absolutely insane.
“Honey, I know I don’t know much about your previous life with your husband, and he sounds like he was a stand-up guy, but he apparently didn’t turn you on sexually. What you’re saying is you get soaked when you and Specks are, you know, kissing? Your body is telling you it wants more, it wantshim. Didn’t you talk to your girlfriends about this kind of thing?”
I can’t help the bitter laugh that erupts from my lips at her words. “Yeah, no. I didn’t have any girlfriends growing up, I had Foster. And I wasn’t about to ask Granny, you know? I just thought all the books I’ve read over the years were blowing smoke because I’d never felt like that when Foster and I were having sex.”
She grins while patting my arm. “I think Noah needs to spend the night with his great-granny so you can get your groove on with your man, Kaya.”
Now I know I’m blood red because I can feel the heat emanating from my face. “CeeCee!”
Laughing, she states, “Nothing like a biker’s loving, girlie. Now, help this prego whale off the ground so you can take the stuff into your granny. She’s kind of scarily impatient, isn’t she?”
Snickering, I nod. “It’s not what she says, either, it’s the look she gives. Like, you canhearthe disappointment as it pierces you. But I wouldn’t know what to do without her. She took us in after my dad died, then worked her fingers to the bone to take care of my mom and me while I was growing up.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces, but I never thought I’d meet someone like Momma M who could convey with just a glance how they felt.”
“It’s the mom look and trust me, you’ll develop one once your little one arrives and is old enough to warrant it,” I tell her, helping her up once I’ve managed to stand. “So, you think it’ll be okay between Specks and me?” I ask after picking up the basket.
She loops her arm through mine as we walk toward the back of the clubhouse, where Granny is now standing in the openedkitchen door, her hand on her hip. “You’re gonna be just fine,” she whispers. “As long as you survive your granny, that is.”
After lunch, Specks pulls me aside and asks, “You’ve been distracted, babe. Is everything okay?”
I glance up at him, unsure how to proceed without sounding whiny. During the past two weeks, we’ve spent a lot of time after Noah’s gone to bed talking, sharing stories, and really getting to know one another. With the exception of the day he claimed me when I expressed my concern over whether or not we’d be compatible, we haven’t talked about sex or any kind of expectations at all. I know which of three houses he’d prefer that dot the club’s property for us to settle down in, he’s coming to terms with the one I like, he understands I want several pets, we both agree that once Noah’s able to do so, we’re getting him involved in sports of some sort.
But the elephant in the room, the same one who rears its massive trunk every time we kiss? We haven’t broached that topic even once and with every day that passes, I feel myself reverting to the totally insecure woman I once was a long time ago. Frustration wells inside me because that’s not who I am any longer. I’ve fought those demons and came out the victor, I refuse to let those skeletons back inside of my closet. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, I reply, “Can we take a walk and talk?”