Page 62 of Courting Claudia

“I realize that since I’ve lied to you once, I must work to regain your trust. I’m determined to do that. No matter what my intentions toward you were in the beginning, my desire for you has always been real. I can’t fake that. Those kisses were real. The touches, all real. Someday you’ll see that.”

She didn’t know what to think or what to believe. He seemed so sincere, and she wanted to trust him. But he’d lied to her. And he’d hurt her. He’d said the one thing tonight that she’d feared all along. He hadn’t really wanted her. He’d only been after her drawings.

It stung, and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry, but that would solve nothing. If she was honest with herself, it wasn’t the only thing she wanted to do. It was only one option swimming through her mind. All the others consisted of Derrick stripping off her clothes and kissing her. Everywhere, as he’d suggested.

She wanted to be angry with him. Angry enough to walk away, but she wanted to consummate this marriage despite her insecurities. She wanted his hands and his mouth on her body. And she wanted to explore his body as well.

Her cheeks burned with the thought, and she knew they flushed red. She brought her hands to them and tried not to look at him. He’d once remarked on her blush, wanting to know how far it traveled down her body.

“Care to share those thoughts?”

“No, thank you. I’m very tired.”

She lay down on her side, facing the wall, and pulled her nightgown tighter around her. She shouldn’t deny him his rights to her body. He’d done the honorable thing and married her, now she should do the honorable thing and allow him to consummate their marriage. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted to. Despite her hurt feelings and wounded pride, she wanted him to make love to her. She wanted him to prove to her that he didn’t care that her body wasn’t perfect.

“Don’t you want to get under the covers?” Without waiting for her response, he tugged at the covers to pull them out from under her. Then he stood and gently covered her. He leaned down and kissed her, a sweet and tender kiss.

It didn’t take her long to decide to kiss him back. She opened her mouth to him and slid her tongue across his bottom lip. His throat emitted a low growl. He deepened the kiss, and she buried her fingers in his hair. She loved kissing him. It was turning out to be one of her favorite pastimes, which made it a good thing they had married, since now she could kiss him whenever she liked.

She felt the weight of his body press into hers, and even though the bedcovers separated them, she could still feel his heat. Still feel his obvious desire for her. He hadn’t been lying about that.

He moved, rubbing his hard length against her. She opened her legs slightly, wishing the bedcovers were gone, but not wanting to remove them herself. He moved again. And again. Slow and steady.

Those bloody bedcovers.

As if he’d read her mind, he maneuvered his way underneath them. Clothes still barricaded their skin, but the pressure was much greater.

They continued to kiss, deep searching kisses that curled her toes and sent warmth radiating through her body. His steady rocking against her was building something inside her, stronger with every movement. She bucked beneath him, trying to make it come faster, whatever it was.

“I want to touch you.” Derrick’s words broke the silence.

“Where?”

“Anywhere. Everywhere. Let me take this silly gown off you.”

“Put out the lights first.”

“Claudia, I’m going to see you eventually. You are my wife.”

“Not tonight.”

He nodded, then climbed off her. One by one, he doused the lights.

A moment passed, and he still did not return to the bed. He’d changed his mind. This marriage would never work. She should have done as her father suggested and retired herself to the country. She could have painted all day.

“What are you doing?” she ventured.

“Removing my clothes.”

“All of them?”

“Yes. It’s usually how I sleep. Would you prefer I wore something?”

Sleeping next to a naked man. Sleeping next to naked Derrick. The thought made her giddy, and she nearly giggled, but the gravity of the current situation extinguished her humor.

“I don’t want to change your habits,” she said.

“You may sleep nude as well.”