Page 196 of Lost in the Dark

"Don't. Please?" I closed my eyes.

Her soft words were cloying, reminding me of all the times that Karl had assured me I could trust him, that he wouldn't hurt me again. I was safe.

Safety was a fucking joke. An illusion I could see straight through.

But this rope was real, and I was going to do this. I opened my eyes and gripped the two higher ropes, feeling the tension in them, the way that I could balance myself between them. I could do this. No, Iwoulddo this.

Yet it took me what felt like another five minutes to make the first real step. The cheers and shouts from below had tapered off, and I heard a jeer. So much for team building. None of those sounds mattered, though. I just had to keep my eyes locked on the other side, feel for the rope with my foot, place it carefully and keep moving.

A gust of wind hit me and I rocked to the left, one foot slipping off as I leaned too far.

No no no.

I gripped as hard as I could to the guide ropes, tried to rebalance. I could hear cries from below, but nothing cut through the thrum of panic in my ears. Cheers, boos, I couldn't tell. None of it mattered as I listed on the rope. It felt like the time he'd pushed me down the stairs, that moment of unbalance just before I'd tumbled.

Before I'd shattered bone.

The memory slammed into me, choking me, making my fingers slick with sweat as I braced for the impact that would inevitably come. My fingers slipped and I couldn't seem to keep track of my feet.

I fell.

Air rushed past me, but only for a moment as the safety rope caught and the harness yanked at my body. Somehow, I was upside down, blood rushing to my head, one foot caught in a loop of rope. I couldn't open my eyes as I hung there, spinning slowly, a fly in a trap, stuck there for everyone to see.

I waited for the laughter, for the jeers.

Of course, I'd been the first to fall. I might be safe from Karl, but apparently the memory of him was enough to put my job on the chopping block.

After they'd untangled me, they carried me to the med bay where I could, at the very least, hide from the rest of my team. I'd barely been able to speak a word. I knew that when I was ashamed, I could be a bitch, and right now that wasn't going to get me what I wanted.

Weirdly, Jenny stayed with me.

"I can't believe you got tangled like that," she said as we waited for the nurse. Her hand gripped mine. It felt like such a strange thing, this simple human connection. She did it so naturally, and yet it felt foreign to me.

Still, I didn't let go. It was… Nice.

"Neither can I, but of course it was me." I tried to move up on the bed a little, but pain shot through my ankle. I'd definitely done something to it, though whether it was bad enough to warrant going home was another matter.

"Just stay there," Jenny said, that voice of reprimand that she used at work coming through. This time, I could see it wasn't from frustration, but from care. She plumped the pillows around me and then grabbed a glass and filled it from a jug. Just as she passed me the glass, the nurse came in.

"Keziah?" he raised an eyebrow.

"That's me." I used my free hand to gesture to my injured body. The ache in my leg was a constant throbbing pain now. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I'll just take a look, if that's okay."

"Go for it."

The nurse's hands were gentle as he unlaced my shoe and eased it off. I had to clench my teeth through the pain.

"I can see that it's very swollen already," he said, then turned his attention to Jenny. "Can you get an ice pack from the fridge over there? The freezer section is at the top."

She gave my hand a squeeze and then went to do as he'd asked. He peeled off my sock, and I cringed to think that it was probably sweaty and unpleasant, but he didn't even grimace. I guess this was his job. He’d no doubt seen worse. He gently slid my pants up. I didn't want to look, but a quick glance showed red lines where the rope had caught on my leg and ankle.

The nurse rubbed his hands together, presumably to warm them, before gently feeling my ankle. I winced and pulled away, closing my eyes in pain.

"I take it that hurt," he said, a sliver of amusement in his voice.

"Yup."