Page 197 of Lost in the Dark

"And this?" He did something else, and I couldn't contain the scream. "Okay. I don't think it's broken, but it's badly bruised, and potentially there is a sprain in there. I'm no Doctor, but I suggest we ice it, elevate it, and once you've been here for an hour, I'll come back and wrap it for you, then we can get you to your cabin."

"Really?" I groaned and shook my head. "Isn't there something else I can do?"

"Not today. You need to rest this as much as possible, and then tomorrow we can assess where you're at."

Fucking hell. I'd busted my ass to get here only to damage myself enough to be put on bed rest the very first day. At least I'd remembered to pack a book.

"This isn't like summer camp I'm picking. No arts and crafts sessions I can get in on?" I wanted to show how committed I was to this retreat; to the company.

The nurse laughed and shook his head. "Sorry. There is a presentation late this afternoon, just before dinner, and you can attend that if you're feeling up to it."

With a grimace I said, "We'll see."

He took the ice pack from Jenny and wrapped it in a linen cloth before wrapping it around my ankle. "When I come back, I'll put some cream on those rope burns as well. I have to say that you're the first person to manage that stunt."

"Do I get a trophy?" I raised an eyebrow and hoped he knew I was poking fun at myself.

"Sadly, no. I'll be back in twenty minutes to check in. You're welcome to stay, or get back to your group," he said to Jenny.

"Thank you," she said.

Right, manners. "Yes, thanks so much for this." I indicated my ankle. Damn thing. I'd weathered a lot of bruises and breaks in my time with Karl, but it hit a bit differently now that I'd done this to myself. In some ways, it was no doubt confirmation that I really was the klutz I claimed to be.

"Hey," Jenny said. Her voice was soft and warm and drew me back into the room. "Do you want me to stay?" I looked at her, saw the concern in her eyes. What had made her change her attitude towards me?

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "I really appreciate what you've done so far, but go have some fun if you want to. I'll be fine."

Jenny looked at me in a way I couldn't quite decipher, then she glanced over her shoulder as if to make sure no one else was there. "Look, I just want you to know that I'm here if you want to talk. I could never seem to find a way at work, but I know… Well." She chewed her bottom lip. "I know."

All the weight in that single word. All the memories.

The questions.

I wanted to ask how. I'd tried so damn hard to hide it all from her, from everyone. Yet somehow, she had seen through my lies.

"I—"

"No." She shook her head, but squeezed my hand again. "Right now, you need to rest, but before we go back to the office, we should cozy up in one of our cabins with some coffee and talk. Real talk."

I blew out a long breath. It felt like my organs had shattered and turned into lightning bugs, crashing around inside my glass body, but I nodded in agreement. "It's over now," I said, wanting her to know that much. "I left."

"That's so good. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." Jenny gave me one more squeeze, followed by a blinding smile, and then she let go. "I'll come check on you later, okay? Where is your cabin?"

"Way down the end. You'll need to get directions from reception because I barely remember myself."

"Can do." She winked at me and then disappeared out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the throbbing pain in my body and soul.

Iclosed the curtains and hobbled to my bed, shoving pillows under my leg to keep it elevated. It hurt more than it should, but maybe that's because this time he wasn't here to tell me how fucking sorry he was, how he'd never do it again, how he was here for me, whatever I needed.

Hot tears pricked my eyes.

I wished I had a lover who cared enough to wrap me in their arms and hold me tight, who wasn't the source of the pain. All I'd had for so long was Karl, and he was never kind. Always hurt me.

No one knew how hard it had been to leave. Or how many times I'd tried before. Now I just had to stay gone. Hope he didn't start showing up at work, or heaven forbid, find me here. There was no way, though. It was so remote and I'd been careful not to share anything about it on social media. In fact, the final nail in the coffin to get me on this trip was the fact that I'd be away from him for five days.

I needed the relief of that.

And I needed sleep. The extra pain pills were kicking in now. My leg still ached, but my brain was moving elsewhere, enjoying the mellow feeling that was stuffing my head like cotton candy. I closed my eyes, let sleep drag me under.