Page 27 of Moonflower
“But . . . how?” she says.
“You gave me access after you made it private. I don’t remember why or when exactly. It was some time in high school.”
Cora narrows her eyes. “Yeah, I think I remember that. But Wild, those were private. Why did you read them?”
“Why do you think?”
“Don’t play games, Wild,” I snap. My hand is resting on Cora’s shoulder, and I give her a reassuring squeeze. “That wasn’t fair and you know it.”
I don’t want to gang up on him, but what the fuck? He’d better have one hell of an explanation.
“Those were private entries,” she says softly.
He doesn’t say anything, so I shoot him a glare.
With a sigh, Wilder moves toward Cora. He kneels in front of her, taking her hands in his. “I’ll admit that it was wrong. I didn’t want to break your trust, Moonflower, and I’m sorry I did. But I’m not sorry for where it got us. Not one bit.”
I can tell from her voice that she’s holding back more tears. Still, she manages to ask, “Why did you read them?”
For a second, he stares at their hands, clasped together in her lap. Then he looks up into her eyes. “To be honest? I fucking missed you. Reading the entries helped me understand why you held us at arm’s length. But before I read them? Fuck, Cora, I had no clue what was going on.”
She sags into her chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” I say, crouching down next to Wilder. “You already apologized. You never have to do it again, okay?”
She nods, giving me a weak and unconvincing smile.
Wilder continues, “I read your blog because I was worried about you. Trust me, I know it doesn’t justify what I did. But I didn’t know what else to do. It’s been three years of missing you and wondering what the hell went wrong. And I can’t lie, Moonflower, it’s been painful.”
“I know,” she whispers.
“I know you do,” he murmurs, kissing her knuckles. “It hurt you, too.”
She nods. “A lot.”
“And that’s why I read the entries,” he says. “I was worried, I missed you, I love you, and I needed to understand what was going on in that head of yours. Should I have kept reading? Probably not. But once I saw the part about how you felt about me and Ez, there’s no way I could’ve stopped, Cora. Not if there was a chance we could make this work.”
“So that’s how you knew,” I say, turning to look at him. “That’s how you knew she wanted both of us. And how you knew what she’d like.”
He nods.
Cora is silent, staring at her and Wilder’s hands. Every second of quiet has me getting more and more anxious. Fuck, if this is over before it starts—
“Would you do it again?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Wilder!” I exclaim.
He looks into Cora’s eyes and says, “If you pushed us away again, without a doubt, yes. I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat. I’m not letting you go again, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you. Whatever it takes.”
Thankfully, Cora doesn’t shy away from his words. She’s used to his possessiveness by now. “I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn’t hide things from you guys,” she mumbles.
Squeezing her hands, Wilder says, “I’m not going to go behind your back unless I have good reason to. I just didn’t know how else to make sure you were okay. You weren’t telling us anything.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to apologize again.”