Page 38 of Turning the Tide

JAMESON

Blakely begins to pick the dishes from dinner up off the table, her growing belly becoming more round. She glows, and my brother glows, and it fuels me with jealousy.

"I'll get those," I interject, grabbing the dishes from her hand, the corner of her mouth tilting into a smile.

"Thank you."

JC comes bustling back into the dining room with a wireless controller in his hand, "Mama, can I play games? Just for a few minutes before bed?"

She nods, "Only for a bit, then it's bedtime."

He takes off running up the stairs, sounding like a herd of elephants. Blakely rolls her eyes, and Judson just snickers, shaking his head.

"So, how are things?" Blakely asks. Judson, giving her a warning glance, "Blake."

"It's okay," I assure him, "Things are alright. Just taking it day by day."

"How is Hanna handling things with Ellie now that you're back?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure. She completely shuts me out. She wants any conversation we have to be solely centered around Ellie. The second I turn the conversation to her or us, she shuts down."

Blakely cringes, "Do you blame her?"

"No," I admit. "I don't blame her. I just wish she could've told me about my daughter, but I don't think it would've made a difference."

She scoffs, "What do you mean, Jay? I know you well enough to know that if you knew about Ellie, you would've done things differently."

"Maybe," I agree, "I definitely would've helped her financially, but I still couldn't have been there. Not physically anyway. I think if I would've known about her, I would've done something foolish, and in the military, that isn't an option."

"Hanna will come around. Who knows, maybe you two will become friends," Judson says, and my laughter barrels out uncontrollably.

"Friends?"

Judson knows as well as I do I can't be Hanna's friend.

"It's something, man."

"Don't get all team Eric on me now," I beg, knowing that they've become close friends.

"I will always put you first," He acknowledges, "You are my brother, and I will always root for your happiness. I just don't see Eric and Hanna breaking up."

"We have a buttload of baggage," I agree, "More than you'll ever know, but I love her. I always have, and that doesn't just go away. I can't be her friend and not wish it was more, not in this lifetime."

"Anyway," Blakely adds, purposefully changing the direction of this conversation, "How are things at work?"

"They're alright. My flying suffered for a while. Now that I know the truth about Ellie, I have been doing better up there. There is no room for mistakes. We might have a mission soon. They are talking deployment."

Judson sets his glass down harder than usual on the table, "How long?"

"Don't know, don't even know for sure if it's happening, but there are hardly ever rumors. Dojo overheard a conversation."

"What about Ellie?" He sneers, obviously still sour about my leaving and about the choice I made to join the Air Force.

"It's my job, Judson. I don't have a choice. They say go, I go. They own me."

"So you can just walk away and leave that little girl again?"

My heart sinks. I don't want to leave Ellie.