Page 5 of Irreplaceable

CHAPTERTWO

The leather of my sandals hugged my feet as I meandered down the dusty dirt road. It had been almost a month since my chemical pregnancy, and I’d been busy with work. Immersed in my job, exploring a new country, it was easy to forget about my life back home. It was easy to ignore the pain, the disappointment.

After a day of meeting with local officials to discuss logistics for filming, I’d stopped by the hotel and grabbed my camera before heading into town. This area of Bali had enough amenities to satisfy the production team and A-list actors, but it was also perfect for the futuristic, dystopian thriller the production studio envisioned. And the locals had been eager to work with us, which made my job that much easier.

The longer I walked, the more my cares faded away. There was something to be said for the ability to go wherever you wanted, whenever you wanted. As much as I desired a child, I knew I’d miss this freedom. The spontaneity. I loved exploring new places, meeting new people, trying new foods. And while I didn’t want to think that becoming a mom meant giving all that up, I understood there would be sacrifices.

I lifted my camera, framing a shot of the coconut seller before depressing the button. I was never without my camera, but lately, I’d been gravitating back to it more and more. And not just as a tool for work. There was something magical about filtering your view of the world and translating it from a three-dimensional reality to a two-dimensional image, capturing that moment in time. A moment that would never be repeated and could never be duplicated—much like a human life.

Two children skipped down the street, squealing with glee. I lowered my camera and watched them, my good mood dissipating. As great as my life was, I was lonely. I’d seen much of the world, and I wanted to set down roots.

Deep in the recesses of my heart, I clung to that dream. I’d always imagined that falling in love, being a mother, would be my biggest adventure. But life didn’t always turn out like you expected. And at this rate, I worried it would never happen.

First, I’d given up on the idea of being in a committed relationship, opting instead for a sperm donor. And now…now I wasn’t sure I had it in me to endure in vitro fertilization or struggle through an arduous adoption process. I just didn’t think I could open myself up for even more disappointment.

The clouds shifted, the sun peeking through to highlight the market as I approached. I was officially off duty. And not just for the evening. For the next week, I planned to relax on the beach, explore the rice fields, and do whatever I wanted. Alexis had suggested I take a vacation, and I knew she was right. I needed a break. I needed to take a step back, slow down, and regroup.

I twisted the bracelet on my wrist and smiled down at the reminder of Juliana. She’d given the leather-and-silver bracelet to me for my birthday years ago, and I loved both the simplicity of the design and the symbolism. It was similar to an unalome and reminded me that the path of life wasn’t always straight, perfect, or even headed in the “right” direction. Perhaps something I needed to remember now more than ever.

I let out an exhale and scanned the market, debating where to head first. A man across the street caught my attention—his stern expression at odds with the lively atmosphere. His olive skin glistened in the sun, dark brows slanted low over dark eyes, arms covered in dark ink. I traced some of the designs with my eyes, momentarily distracted as I used the zoom feature on my camera to home in on him. Some of the script appeared to be in Italian; all of it was incredibly beautiful and intricate.

I continued to peer at him through my lens, admiring the corded muscles of his arms, the strength evident beneath his linen shirt. And then there was his face—hard, unrelenting, and incredibly handsome.

His brown eyes surveyed the surroundings, and his dark brown hair was tousled like he’d been running his fingers through it nonstop. He was breathtaking in his intensity, and there was something about him that made it difficult to look away. I snapped a few shots, changing the angle and settings a few times before a little boy approached.

I watched their interaction, surprised when the man’s expression softened. He laughed when the boy pointed to his biceps and flexed his muscles, the man’s face transforming into something almost too beautiful to behold. My camera would never do it justice, but I tried all the same, snapping a few more shots of the unlikely duo. Despite the man’s stony exterior, he was a natural with the little boy. He inspected the boy’s arm then followed him down the street.

I wandered through the market, stopping to look at some of the booths. Even though I wasn’t sure I’d ever have a child at this point, I couldn’t resist purchasing a children’s book. It was tradition after all. For years, I’d been collecting children’s books from all over the world. I always wrote the date and place where I acquired them on the inside page, adding them to my library as if they’d one day be needed.

I took my time, stopping to purchase some fun earrings for Juliana before I reached an open field. I was surprised to find the man from the market playing soccer with a bunch of local kids. I smiled and watched the way they interacted.

I lifted my camera, taking a few shots. Zooming in as he ran across the field with grace and speed. He was a natural, and the kids clearly adored him.

When he scored a goal, they all jumped on top of him. He was smiling and so were they. So was I, for that matter. Their clothes were getting muddy, stained with grass, but they didn’t care. They were having so much fun.

I snapped a few more, the stunning scenery and the gorgeous man making me want to linger. There was something about the man that kept pulling me back to him. At least until my stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I put my camera back in my bag and headed to one of the nearby restaurants. While I ate and pored over a guidebook, a new text came in from Juliana. My day was winding down, but back in LA, hers was just beginning. Despite the time difference—first in Scotland and now in Bali—she’d been texting me almost daily for the past few weeks, and I knew she was worried about me. She didn’t ask how I was doing, didn’t mention the pregnancy, but I knew she’d always listen if I needed to talk.

Juliana: Enjoy your vacation!

I senther an image from my phone, one I’d taken at the hotel earlier. It had a beautiful view.

Juliana: Makes me long for Laucala.

I smiled, knowing how much she’d enjoyed her honeymoon there. I’d had fun helping Harrison plan it. The pictures Juliana had shown me were jaw-dropping, but I knew it was the alone time with Harrison she treasured even more. And despite my sadness over my own situation, I was so, so happy for Juliana.

After finishing my meal, I decided to explore a little more. It was darker now, but there were still a few people milling about along the main thoroughfare. The weather was so pleasant, I decided to walk toward my hotel instead of taking a tuk-tuk. As I was crossing the street to check out a food vendor, I heard the crunch of the gravel beneath tires before I saw a flash of headlights. The car had taken the corner quickly, barely giving me time to react.

I shrieked and leaped out of the way of the car, my heart racing. I grunted, landing on the ground with a thud.

A cloud of dust swallowed me, and I sat there stunned. They’d almost run over me. If I hadn’t jumped out of the way, they would’ve.

I started coughing, trying to fan away the dirt. I blinked a few times, grit making my eyes feel as if they’d been rubbed with sandpaper. What the hell?

The car was stopped ahead, the brake lights glowing in the night. I tried to stand but winced when a sharp pain shot through my ankle. Shit.

The back door to the car opened, and a man climbed out. I stared at his shoes, scanning up his muscular legs, up that chiseled torso and tattooed arms until I met his face. And the sight of the man from the market had me swallowing hard.

Up close, he was so…intimidating. So imposing. So handsome. The way he stalked toward me made my stomach tighten and a frisson of excitement race down my spine.