Page 29 of Come Back to Me

After the last two days, I haven’t remembered anything more. A part of me knows exactly what—or more specifically—whoI need to see. I check my phone for unanswered calls and messages. Almost all of them are from Cole. I shove the phone back in my pocket, unwillling to open that Pandora’s box just yet. I need a break from men in my life. It’s all too much.

Saying goodbye to Jack in the hotel, he reassures me that he is there for me when I need him, but something is off about him. He’s cold, removed, not the Jack I know, or knew. I think my baggage has started to affect him, and although he’s trying to be supportive, it’s taking a toll. I need to let Jack go and live his life. There is no question, if I have to choose, my choice is clear and already made. But right now I need to focus on myself. I need to try and understand my own memories.

I walk out of my room and see Alex in the living room of our suite. Thank the good lord!

She looks up from the couch. “Hey,” she says, hanging up her cell. “You okay?”

“No, I don’t know. What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with the beefcake tonight.”

She smiles and pats the couch next to her. “You are my best, most favorite friend ever and you know I love you to the moon and back, right?” Her smile is weak and I can see her hands are shaking.

“Alex?! What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I’ve been so consumed with my own drama that I haven’t even checked in with you. Are you okay?” I rush to sit and grab her hands in mine. I love her and I realize I’ve been a horrible friend since this ordeal began.

“ I’m fine, hon, but you aren’t, and I’d like to fill in some blanks for you. We were warned to let your memories come back to you on their own, but I think it’s time to help you if I can.”

“Wait. What? What do you mean, fill in the blanks?” This is not what I was expecting. I want to fall down and sob. I am so incredibly happy to have some help!

“Alex, are you saying you know important things I don’t know?”

“Yes, I do. I also know what happened the other night, because Cole called me. I tried to give you space so you could try to sort everything out yourself, but damn what the doctor says. I think you need a jumpstart.”

With that, the dam breaks and I start to sob. Alex wraps her arms around me and pulls me close.

“Shhh, it’s okay. You cry and when you’re done, we will eat ice cream and reintroduce you to your life.”

I didn’t realize how much fear and frustration I’ve been carrying. It’s exhausting. I cry for almost an hour and fall asleep. When I wake up, Alex is still sitting next to me, sipping a cup of tea. She’s put a blanket over me. I look up to see her and she smiles. “Morning, sunshine! Ready to start?”Hell yes I am.

Alex points to a cup of tea she made for me. I go to heat it up in the microwave and take an appreciative sip, then rejoin her on the couch. “Alex, just start at the beginning and don’t stop until you get to this moment.”

“Well,” she begins, “let’s start with the big stuff, because I kinda think you might need some time to process certain facts before we move on to the rest…”

Oh man, am I ready for this?I turn to face my best friend on the couch. I can feel that my face is swollen from crying, but that’s done. I will not shed another tear. From here on I am going to handle this like a boss.

“Ok, off comes the band-aid… Cole Parker is actually your husband.”

I have no words. Time has stopped and I can’t take a breath until my body registers this shock on various levels.

“Seriously, I just gave myself a whole internal pep talk about being a boss and not crying, and now you’re telling me that I’m married to a man I’m pretty sure I’m crazy about but I don’t remember any of it? Does this also mean that not only did I walk out on my husband last night, but he’s basically been living in wait for me this whole year while I couldn’t remember my life before the first Carter incident?!”

I take a breath to continue. “Wait. Give me a chance to think back over what I DO remember. If I’m finally catching on, then you are telling me that you and my parents have known since last year that I’m a married woman, and what, just watched me go on dates? You let me cheat on my HUSBAND and never thought to be like, ‘hey, friend, you’re married, don’t fuck other people’?? WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK, ALEX??!She stares at me with her mouth open, closes it and then opens it again, as if to speak but nothing’s coming out.

“I thought you were on a break?” She says this to lighten things up. That is Alex’s way. But it’s a damn inappropriately timed joke, and not funny.

I roll my eyes while she continues. “Oh Mia, I’m sorry, you have to understand, when everything happened and you lost your memory, none of us knew what to do. The doctors told us there’s a chance you will get it back and we shouldn’t push you. Your Mom and Richard decided it was better for you to return to your old life before Cole, even though that’s not what Cole wanted. He could have fought them on it, but he wanted to respect their wishes and follow whatever would make you most comfortable. He’s been waiting for you to come back to him since it all happened.”

My heart hurts for so many reasons, and my mind remembers his words… “I need you to choose me,” and, “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this again.”

“I walked out on Cole. I saw his face in one of my flashbacks. Alex, he was there when I was hurt by Carter! I feel like I don’t know who or what to trust.” I put my head in my hands and close my eyes.

Alex grabs my hands, pulling them down and away from my face. “No, honey! Cole had nothing to do with you getting hurt. He actually walked in during the attack and stopped it! He beat Carter nearly to death. He saved your life! It took five guys to drag Cole off of Carter. I thought he had killed him. It was awful, Mia. You were unconscious, and Cole was sobbing next to you. He wouldn’t let anyone touch you, kept trying to cover you, tried to clean the blood from your face, but I had to convince him to stop so the police and paramedics could work on you. He never let you out of his sight.

“You were out for over a day while we all waited. When you woke up, I’ve never seen relief like that. It was like watching him take his first breath from being deep underwater. My heart broke for him—for all of us—when you woke up and asked who Cole was. He was devastated. You didn’t want him around. You had a panic attack and passed out when he tried to touch you. After that he waited in the waiting room just to make sure you were okay. He lived in that waiting area for the entire week before you were released.

We were all there, Mia, but Cole was invisible to you. You didn’t know him. Your mind had blocked him out with the memory of being attacked.

More tears. I’m who Cole gave his heart to. He’s the man who loves me. Damn my stupid brain! How can I not remember a love like that? How could I forget the single most important person in my life?

“I don’t know what to say, Alex. I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to deal with. I can’t imagine the stress this has caused you! My poor family and friends, what a horrible burden to bear over this whole year.”