Page 68 of Madness & Mayhem

If only things could ever go as planned.

Chapter ELEVEN

LAKYN

“I’m going,” I growl.

Reign clenches his jaw, standing in front of the front door. “You aren’t leaving this house.”

A laugh bubbles in my chest, and I can’t help but chuckle. “I’m going!”

He steps toward me, while still blocking the front door. “You aren’t going to his funeral, Lakyn. Head into the back room, say a fucking prayer, and put him to rest. You don’t need to be standing over his grave to say goodbye.”

Tears flood my eyes, because I feel like I do have to be standing over his grave to say goodbye. I don’t feel like he’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done, and I need to see him. I have to.

“I want to go, Reign. I have to go to him one more time. I won’t ever have this chance again.” It’s true. If we run away, will I ever come back to Hellcrest Heights? Most likely not, and I’ll never have this chance again.

“You can’t, Lakyn. You go, you get caught. It’s as simple as that,” he snaps at me.

My brow furrows. “I won’t even go by them. I’ll stay far away from the funeral party. I just want to go there. I want to… I need to be there.”

He shakes his head at me. “No. That’s my final answer.”

I glance down at my leggings and black zip-up sweatshirt. My oversized black boots. How my hair is pulled into a messy bun because I don’t have a brush. I have no makeup on. I’m a wreck. A mess, but I don’t have any other option here. I’m not dressed for a funeral, but I want to go. I need to go.

I step toward Reign and his eyes narrow at me. He knows I’m not going to back down, and we can either fight until he lets me, or he can step aside, come with me, and I can do what I need to do.

“Come with me, Reign. Come with me and say goodbye to Creed. I know you need to as well. Please, Reign,” I plead. “Please.”

His bod slowly loosens, until he’s standing in front of me, staring at me blankly. He steps forward, his hand going to my chin. He tilts my head up, until he’s watching me. His fingers are warm, strong as they pinch my chin. I inhale, smelling the heady scent of Reign as he envelops me.

“There’s something about you, Lakyn, but I can never say no to you. We can go, but we’ll stay away, and you will not walk up to the funeral at all. If we see anything off, we fucking bolt. You hear me?”

I nod. I hear him.

“Thank you,” I whisper, emotion bubbling in my chest.

“For you, baby Lake, I’ll give you the world. Even if it means I wouldn’t survive,” he rasps, and my heart fills, if even for this one moment.

I slide down, my spine sliding against the bark of the tree as I stare at the oversized crowd across the cemetery. A cloud of black, from students to family members, all dressed in the color of death, surround the grave plot with the large, dark oak coffin propped above the dug-up hole in the ground.

A light snow falls from the heavy gray clouds which hang low in the sky. Each flake is perfectly formed as it falls on my arms, instantly dissipating into the dark fabric. I’m cold. It’s cold outside, but I’m also cold inside. Filled with so much death I’ve caused and had a hand in. Remorse doesn’t ring through me, but a heaviness does, as if the fear and sorrow of all the dead cling to me, weighting me down into the earth. I can’t do a thing but allow myself to grow numb to the death and absorb it as if it’s my own bones.

“Creed was one of the good ones,” Reign mumbles beside me.

I nod my head, pressing my bare hands against the snow. The cold seeps into my veins as tears flood my eyes. I watch my friends at the front of the crowd—Vienna most of all, standing near his parents as a constant sob racks her spine. She leans forward, her hand planting against the surface of the coffin. She looks so sad.

The pain of losing the one who owns your heart is one you’ll never recover from. Of knowing no more breaths you take will be surrounded by him. No more kisses, or touches. You’ll never feel their skin against yours.

I reach out, clutching onto Reign’s hand. I lost him before, and I will never be able to lose him again.

“What do you think they’re saying over there?” I whisper, snow mashed between our palms.

Reign sighs beside me. “I think they’re saying how loved he was. That he had so many friends and family that loved him. That he was smart, someone who was going to go far in life. That he met the love of his life at such a young age and was one of the luckiest guys in the world. That he was handsome, forgiving, funny, and loyal to those around him. How generous he was to even those he didn’t know.” He clutches my hand tightly, and I allow the tears to track down my face in fast rivers. “How he had the greatest friends anyone could ever have, and how he’ll miss all of us, just as much as we’ll miss him,” he mumbles, emotion heavy in his voice.

A sob breaks from my chest, and I curl over, my forehead pressing against my knees as I cry, hoping that Creed is still watching over us and wishing he would know how sorry I was for everything I’d done. That I would take back every second of this if I could.

“He doesn’t hate you, Lakyn. Not even a little bit,” Reign says, and it only makes me cry harder.