Page 108 of Guarded Deputy
A heaviness settles in the pit of my stomach. It’s the same reaction he gave me over the phone.
So much for thinking it was nothing. Something’s up with him. I try to focus on my friends again, but my eyes wander to Nate. This is the same version of the man who was at the concert. His hot and cold mood is back, and I swore we had overcome that. I know we have.
“You’re not okay.” I push.
“I’m fine. I need to go, though. If you want to stay and have Dani take you home, that’s fine.”
“Whoa, whoa. What?” I tilt my head and hold my hand out. “Are you trying to get rid of me?” I point to myself. Tears burn my eyes, but I take a deep breath to keep them at bay.
“No.” He sighs. “But I understand if you don’t want to leave yet. I’m just…” He shakes his head.
“Talk to me. Why don’t we get out of here and you tell me what’s going on?” I reach out to squeeze his hand but drop it when Nate shakes his head.
“I just want to go home.”
“I can walk back to my apartment.” Sips and Beats is within walking distance to my apartment. It’s the plus side of living in a small town.
“I’d rather you didn’t.” His eyes shine with frustration and sadness.
“I could use the fresh air.” I’m so confused.
“Let me drive you.” He nods.
“I have no idea what’s going on with you or what you’re hiding, but I notice the way you react each time you look at your phone. We were having fun, dancing, laughing.” I blink quickly to dry the tears. “I’m not going to apologize for feeling hurt that my boyfriend can’t trust me or the tone you’re taking with me. Or think that what you’re hiding is evidence for me not trusting you.” My lower lip trembles, so I tuck it in and bite down on it.
“You can trust me, Lizzy.” His voice is pained, his eyes sad. When his hand squeezes mine, I take a stabilizing breath to keep my emotions at bay.
“Are you sure?” I can’t keep my eyes on his, though, because I’m about to lose it in this bar and the last thing I need is to be front page on Emerald Bay’s gossip cycle tomorrow.
“I am. I just need some time to figure something out, but it has nothing to do with you or us.”
I laugh humorlessly because it sure as hell feels like it. “Whatever. I’m gonna go.” I signal Dani and let her know I’m leaving. Her brows pull together, but I walk away before she can question me. Nate walks behind me.
Maybe I’m overreacting, but something about this feels wrong in my gut. I want him to trust me, not put up his walls again when something comes up.
“Lizzy.” He reaches for my hand and tugs me toward him. When he stands before me, I keep my eyes on his chest. “Trust me.” He brushes my hair away from my face.
“It’s a family matter. I need to talk to Brooke.”
I nod because there’s nothing else to say.
“Come on.” He opens the door on the passenger side of his truck.
I look at him for a beat and then get in. I’m not in the mood to argue about him driving me, and my feet would hurt to walk in these heels. So much for dressing up more than usual and hoping to have the best time with my boyfriend.
A piece of me feels like we have a brick wall between us no matter how much Nate says that what’s going on has nothing to do with us.
I hope he’s right, but my stomach feels like lead. Like dead moths are lying in the pit of it, making me nauseas. It’s like the happiness I found is being stripped away.
If this isn’t the epitome of Murphy’s Law, then I don’t know what is.
Chapter 30
Lizzy
Myweekendonlygotgloomier when I barely heard from Nate except a couple of short text messages. He asked me to trust him, but I don’t know how I can if he’s shutting me out.
When Dani called me to have coffee Sunday morning, I desperately agreed. Apparently, she wasn’t oblivious to Nate and my argument at Sips and Beats because it was the first thing she asked me about.