Page 109 of Guarded Deputy
Her words of encouragement didn’t help a ton, but I appreciate her being there for me and letting me vent.
Hopefully, the day goes by quickly so I can go back home. Thankfully, being at school has provided a small distraction from my feelings.
“Ms. Andrews?” Stephanie asks.
“Yeah?” I lift my head to look at her.
“Are you okay? You look sad.”
“Of course.” I nod, shaking off this mood. Kids are too perceptive. I need to feign being happy or they’ll figure out what’s going on.
“Did you break up with your boyfriend?” Dana asks.
“What? No.” I shake my head. “I don’t…” I pause and look at Walker, who’s staring at me with squinted eyes. I don’t want to say something that he’d misinterpret since he knows Nate and I are dating.
This is why people recommend not dating someone you have some sort of connection with, less so if it’s in your professional life.
“Let’s get to work.” I clap my hands, not sure why, and guide them to the page they’re on in their reading book.
I distract myself in the lesson, going over vocabulary, asking my students comprehension questions, and being amazed at how smart and interested they are in this lesson.
Seeing them flourish is one of the reasons I love teaching. Listening to their ideas and thoughts, the individual people they are at such a young age, is the best feeling in the world.
I may miss moments like this when I’m a counselor, but I know that I’ll be serving a greater purpose. What I was meant to do.
When I drop my students off in the music room for their class, I head to the teacher’s lounge in hopes there’s some coffee left. I could really use something stronger than watered down excuse for caffeine, but alas, drinking alcohol while at work is frowned upon.
The door to the lounge opens, and I look up. I freeze, heart beating like a wild animal, when I see Nate.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi.” I look at my mug and stir in some sugar.
“How are you?” He walks toward me.
“Good and you?”
“I’m okay.” He nods, shifting on his feet.
Awkward silence settles over us, and I take a drink of coffee. I hate that we’re acting this way. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s keeping his distance at work because of what Principal Sanders told us. I wish his distance was from self-restraint.
Taking a deep breath, I let my heart settle and look at Nate.
“Well, I gotta go to work.”
He nods, swallowing thickly, but doesn’t say anything else. I shake my head as my hands tremble with sadness. After all the terrible boyfriends I’ve had, you’d think I’d be used to this. But Nate felt different. He felt like forever. Like a whispered promise to my heart that I deserved more than shitty relationships.
I walk to my classroom, thankful it’s empty, and sit at my desk. Dropping my head to my hands, I take a shaky breath. This situation sucks. Even if I wanted to talk to Nate again, he was quick to tell me that the situation had nothing to do with me.
Not that that’s comforting.
My classroom door opens, and I curse under my breath before looking up at the intruder. Andrea freezes with wide eyes.
“Whoa. You do not look good. What’s going on?” She inches closer to my desk.
“Nothing.” I shake my head and push my coffee to the side. It’s not going to make me feel better. If anything, it’ll make me angrier that I have to drink terrible coffee.
“I was going to ask if Nate was okay, but seeing your face tells me he isn’t. Did you two fight?”