Page 76 of Theirs to Crave

I stood.

“Mymothercould see it. She accused Estrayuh of preying on my mind, somehow, and told me I should remove her from our den. When I asked her why I would send a known danger to the den of one of our kin, she had no answer. She’s been stirring people up, feeding into the “death comes from the sky” superstitions—as if the sun and rain didn’t also come from the sky. She tried to prevent them from gathering! They are too much of athreatwhen they are not separated.” He took a moment from his self-abuse to growl at the memory of Saytireka’s foolishness. “Revik was right, that’s the real reason she would not let them stay in the unmated den.” He shook his head, too absorbed in his rant to notice my slow advance.

“I reminded her—loudly—that the strangers were kin, and had to be treated the same as any other Teterayuh. To confine them when they have harmed no one would be a betrayal such that the other villages would break from us. The threat of war with the Outer Kin silenced the rumblings, but more will come. They are sitting in fear.”

Zaf was pacing now, his tail cutting wildly through the air behind him.

I moved the cushions into a pile, clearing a wide space next to the fire.

“I was so distracted by my mother’s schemes that I didn’t even notice the Kyusalk’s illness.”

I paused, still in a crouch, and tipped an ear in a question he didn’t see.

“They had cracks in their skin as long as my finger! They were in pain, and I didn’t notice. Some great healer I am. Saytireka tried to refuse to arrange a trade meet—of course—but I insisted. We went through half our supply of the Svestrixtonsa, and they will need more.”

I huffed. Saytireka was digging deeper into stubborn pride, and something would have to be done about her soon. But she was not the problem I was concerned with in that moment.

“Lie down.” Zaf just blinked at me, so I pointed at the clear space beside me and repeated, “Down.”

The rigidity left his body, and he collapsed as if he’d been struck.

I laid myself over him—anchoring him with my weight—and purred, breathing slowly and evenly until his chest and mine moved in unison.

“Did anything else happen?” He wouldn’t be able to think clearly until he’d purged the bitter poison his mind sometimes filled him with.

Zaf’s tone was softer now, sorrowful. “I behaved badly at the midday meal. Growled at anyone who looked at Estrayuh, like arekvangikfritover its kill. Shane tried to feed her somelapa, and I struck his hand, as if I had some claim over her. As if she could not make her own decisions about whose offers to accept.She is so angry with me; she didn’t even look at me during the walk back to the den. I deserve her anger.”

“Hmm.” I held my silence—except for my purr—until one by one, his muscles softened beneath me. When I spoke, it was gently. “May I share my thoughts?”

Some of Zaf’s tension returned, but I nuzzled him until he relaxed, and nodded.

“You prevented your mother’s fear from dishonoring the village and protected our new kin. Not a small feat,shirravail.”

He twisted his head, searching my face, and I let him see the truth in my eyes.

“You did your duty as a healer, both by seeing to the Kyusalk’s ailment, and by ensuring that they will have what they need to thrive. How is Cass?” He hadn’t mentioned the burn marked Hyunan, so I thought it likely she was responding well to his healing. When the darkness took hold of him like this, he could not see his own accomplishments.

“...much improved,” Zaf admitted. “All but one of the spots of wound-sickness have healed, and I believe that will improve soon.”

“We are all blessed to have you as our healer.”

His ears flattened, and he nuzzled me, pleased. He was silent for a while, and I let him think.

“You truly believe so?” he asked, his fingers moving aimlessly in the fur covering my hips, seeking comfort.

“I do.”

“But—about Estrayuh—”

“I think it’s unwise to assume we know her thoughts. She might be upset over your protectiveness—if so, you will apologize, and knowing her feelings will help you control yourself.” My voice was uncompromising. I knew my mate, even if he doubted himself. He might be experiencing something new, but who he was at his core had not changed.

“It’s also possible she’s upset about something else. Something she and her kin spoke of. Or—” I nipped his ear, because I knew him well, “she might be upset because you ignored her.”

“I didn’t–” he started, then a pained expression scrunched his nose. “I might have. She might think I was, at least.”

I chuffed. I knew well the frustration of watching him pull into himself when the darkness in his mind hissed cruelty. “I will speak to her. Go. Theatlakby the flat stone pile is ripe, and I heard you muttering about making more healing salve.” I rubbed my cheek along his, then pressed our foreheads together, breathing him in. “You are a good man,shavail. Allow the truth of that to bring you peace.”

His arms wrapped around me tight.