Page 21 of Dove

I’d show her that her kinks and love of pain were normal. Maybe not normal, but not wrong. That it was okay for her to want those things. To get off on them.

I needed to convince her she wanted this. I would make her love me because I couldn’t live without her.

11

Kincaid

The walls were closing in on me as I stared at my things in Maddox’s bedroom. My clothes in the closet. My shampoo in the shower. My photos on the nightstand. Henry didn’t just get a few of my things from my old apartment; he got everything. They’d moved me into the house overnight as if I wanted to be here.

I’d had a life before Maddox invaded it. I’d had a job. An apartment. Maybe it wasn’t great. It was horrible in fact, but it had been mine. Now I didn’t know what I was.

I needed to leave. The longer I stayed, the harder it was to convince myself I didn’t want Maddox. Especially after last night. I didn’t want to want him. I didn’t want to crave his touch. His pain. But I did. It was there under my skin. Inside my mind, behind the door, I’d kept closed for so long.

The depraved desires that only he seemed to understand. That I only wanted to explore with him. But I wouldn’t do it. Couldn’t get trapped any more than I already was.

He thought I was his. That I was made for him. My heart wanted it to be true. Wanted to belong to someone even if he was a psychopath like Maddox. But my mind knew I wasn’t meant for this. I wasn’t meant to have good things.

Maddox wasn’t made to love. He was made to torture. And that’s what he was doing to me. Torturing me with the hope of more. With the belief that what we had could be right when I knew it was wrong. Twisted.

I sighed as I pulled a sweater from the shelf and finished getting dressed. Since I wasn’t allowed to leave the house, I felt no desire to dress in anything other than leggings and sweaters. I knew looking casual wouldn’t stop Maddox from touching me, but I also wouldn’t dress up for him. Like I’d done when he first wanted me, I was trying to put distance between us in the only way I knew how.

Henry leaned against the railing, waiting for me as I opened the bedroom door. He seemed to be my personal guard. If I wasn’t with Maddox or in the bedroom, Henry was by my side. I didn’t mind his company. There wasn’t anything for me to do here, so at least I had someone to talk to.

“Is he gone?” I asked as I started down the stairs. Maddox kept odd hours. I never knew if he would already be gone when I woke up or if he hadn’t come home yet.

“No. He’s waiting for you downstairs.” Henry answered as he kept pace with me.

I hated how my body anticipated Maddox’s touch. How my heart raced, and my nipples tightened, knowing he was near. As soon as my feet touched the stone floors in the foyer, I turned left into Maddox’s office, where he’d be.

Like the rest of the house, everything in here was expensive without being over the top. The walls were a soft gray, and the floors hardwood. The room was bathed in light coming from a large window behind Maddox’s desk. To the left were a couch and a bookshelf. Sebastian and Tristan occupied the two chairs in front of his desk.

“Good morning, little dove.” Maddox smiled and motioned for me to come in.

Sebastian gave me a slight head tip in acknowledgment while Tristan only glared. I hated his eyes as me as I walked across the room. I’d never been comfortable around Tristan, not when he saw all women as beneath him.

Maddox pulled me into his lap and gave me a slow kiss that I didn’t want to like. But my walls were always weaker when he was sweet. When he softened slightly in only the way he did for me.

“Our friend needs a visit tonight.” Sebastian said as soon as Maddox brought his attention back to him. He rubbed up and down my back as I tried to tune out their conversation. I didn’t want to be involved in this part of his life. The less I knew, the better. Just being near him had gotten me kidnapped once already.

Only when Maddox addressed me again that I realize the other two had left.

“There are some things we need to discuss, little dove.”

My heart clenched at the seriousness in his tone. This was it. He was letting me go. It was what I wanted. Except it didn’t feel like it. It didn’t feel like happiness tightening my chest, stealing my breath.

Maddox pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered on the pulse at my neck while he spoke, sending a shiver down my spine. “I wanted you to know I paid off your mother’s medical debt.”

My head jerked back in surprise. “You what?” My brows scrunched. “Why?”

“It was a weakness. I didn’t want anyone to use it against you again.”

Like he had. It felt like my heart was slowly deflating. Of course, he hadn’t done it out of any affection for me because he didn’t know what affection was. He’d done it to keep himself safe.

“Come my little dove. I have something to show you.”

He placed me on my feet and guided me out of the room and down the hall with a hand on my back. We passed the dining room and kitchen before coming to a room I hadn’t been in yet. I thought it was best if I only went into rooms he’d shown me himself. I knew he killed and tortured people; if he did it in his home, I didn’t want to accidentally find where.

Maddox pushed open a set of double wood doors to reveal a library. The ceiling was vaulted with a beautiful chandelier illuminating the space. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves covered two walls. They were so tall there was actually one of those rolling ladders to climb and reach books at the top.