Page 22 of Dove

Another wall held a stunning abstract painting of a couple embracing in silhouette. The final wall was covered entirely in windows. The top few were stained glass, giving the library an enchanting feeling. Bench seats were built below the windows so you could curl up with a book and look outside. There was also a large sectional and several armchairs to sit and read in.

Maddox wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and pulled me into his chest as I stared at the room in disbelief. “I built it for you.”

I didn’t know what to say. It was beautiful. It was perfect. Everything I would’ve wanted if I had ever thought to dream of a library. My dreams before Maddox had consisted of wanting enough food to eat. Wanting to sleep without my crackhead neighbors waking me. Wanting to feel safe when I worked at the club. Something like this would never have been a possibility, not when my apartment was one room and my only furniture was a bed.

“When did you do this?” I’d been living here for two weeks and hadn’t heard a single noise indicating there was work being done in the house. No pounding of nails or the smell of paint.

I didn’t want to like it. I didn’t want to feel the emotions welling up inside me. I didn’t want to think about the planning that had gone into this. The care he’d taken to give me a space in his house that would bring me joy. A space that spoke to who I was and what I loved.

It was too perfect. It was as if he’d read my mind. My chest tightened as I realized that’s exactly how it felt to be around Maddox. As if he always knew my deepest desires even before I was ready to see them.

His lips brushed my neck, making me shiver as he spoke. “The day after I had you for the first time.”

The day he said he wanted me. The day everything felt like it had changed between us. When he stopped trying to break me. When I became more than just a toy for him. When he decided I was his.

Even if I didn’t want it. I was his.

12

Kincaid

“You know you could read?” I glanced up at Henry as I turned a page in my book. He gave me a small smile and a shake of his head as he went back to his phone. “What do you do on there all day?”

I’d long ago stopped using social media. I knew it was fake, posed, but it didn’t stop the longing. The need to have what other people seemed to…happiness. I didn’t care about the trips or the fancy clothes. I didn’t care about who was married and who had kids.

I used to find myself staring at their smiles, wondering why I never smiled like that. Why instead of happiness I felt darkness? Felt the need to stop moving forward. I knew if I kept looking at them, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to keep going. So instead, I buried myself in fiction. Was it healthier? Probably not, but at least it didn’t hurt.

“Scrolling through different apps.” He shrugged.

“Dating apps?” I said with a hopeful tone in my voice. I liked Henry; I wanted to see him happy. I knew it couldn’t be easy being gay and living in this world. If they treated me like a whore for how my relationship with Maddox started, I could only imagine how they would treat Henry when they found out about his sexual preferences.

“Kincaid.” He warned, but he didn’t have time to argue with me because the doors opened, revealing the only person I wanted to see.

“Tessa!” I screamed as I jumped off the couch, my discarded book falling to the floor at my foot. I was surrounded by the scent of lilacs as my best friend hugged me. “What are you doing here?”

She gestured to Sebastian, who stood several steps behind her. “Apparently, I’ve been deemed not a threat and safe to visit you.”

I rolled my eyes as I led her back to the couches. Sebastian and Henry whispered back and forth for a few minutes before deciding to give us privacy. I let out a relieved sigh when I was alone for the first time. Well not alone, but without a guard watching me.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” My throat clogged as I reached for her again. She was the last link to my old life. Not that it had been a great life, but at least I’d had choices. Even if there had been only bad choices, they’d led me here after all, but at least I’d been the one to make them. “I’m sorry you had to deal with Sebastian to see me.”

I felt guilty that my choices were now affecting her. I knew she never wanted to be involved with the mafia life. Not many people would, but Tessa had a particular hatred for it.

“Oh please.” She smirked. “You can send a good looking man to check on me anytime you want.”

I smiled as she used her armor to ease the tension. Her sexuality was the shield she used to keep herself separated from the world, just as I’d tried to shrink into myself and become invisible.

We chatted for the next few hours, keeping our conversation light. Talking about people from Entice, the new manager, anything besides the huge elephant in the room. Until it couldn’t be avoided anymore.

“So why did I have to go through a security check to come see you? And why aren’t you back at your apartment?” Tessa asked.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I let out a deep breath. “Maddox doesn’t think it’s safe for me to leave right now.”

She nodded as she stared at me like she could read a hidden meaning in my words. “That makes sense. But why do you sound so upset about it? It seems like you have a nice setup here. Are you afraid?”

“No. I mean yes, but….” I bit my lip. “I just want to go back to my life. I’m not made to be a mafia girlfriend. I’m not meant to be with Maddox.”

Tessa furrowed her brow as she continued to look at me. I glanced away, pulling on a loose thread from the blanket in my lap. It probably sounded crazy. I could have anything I wanted. Any material thing, and Maddox would get it for me. He was doing everything he could to keep me safe and protected. Not to mention he was making it clear how much he wanted me. But it wasn’t him I was worried about.