Page 46 of Tutor With Benefits

There’s a soft tap on my shoulder, and I know before I even turn to look that it’s Zach trying to get my attention, so I try to maintain a subtleness as I turn slightly to find out what he wants.

“Drop your pencil on the floor,” he says.

“What?” I’m confused. “It’s sitting on my desk. What would make it fall?”

“I don’t care,” he hisses in my ear. “Do you want to get his attention or not? Just act like you’re about to pick it up or something and have it fall to the ground on his side. With any luck it’ll roll over there a little and you can bend over right next to him. Trust me, he will notice that.”

I’m not sure about this, but I figure anything is worth a shot at this point, so I act as though I’m picking up my pencil to make a note, but as I do, I flip it around in my fingers a little more aggressively than I need, and the pencil flies out of my hand and lands on the floor, rolling a little way over toward where Johnny is sitting.

I try to remain subtle, as though it’s nothing more than an embarrassing accident for me to grab it from where it has landed, and I get up to retrieve it. I reach for the pencil, but before I have the chance to grab it Johnny himself reaches for it as well.

He’s probably thinking that this is another chance for him to be nice to the shy girl, but my heart leaps to my throat anyway. I know he’s about to look up at me, and even though he’s just going to have that same polite smile he always does, I can’t wait for him to see me as I am now.

And in the moment our eyes make contact with each other, I can see in his face that he’s shocked with what he’s met with. Clearly, he had no idea I’ve done anything with myself, and now that he sees me like this he doesn’t want to look away. It’s the first time in my life I’ve been noticed by the man of my dreams, and my heart pounds so hard in my chest it feels like it could free itself from my body.

There’s electricity between us as I take the pencil from him and mouth a simple, “Thank you.”

He nods, saying nothing as he sits back at his desk, and I manage to throw a glance back to Zach to see if he noticed the interaction.

He gives me a thumbs up, which tells me he saw the whole thing.

And am I imagining things, or is that a little bit of jealousy I see in his eyes? I don’t know, but I feel I have seen it enough in others to be able to recognize it. But it doesn’t make any sense for him to feel jealous about me when he’s known this whole time the whole reason I’m doing anything with him or his friends is because I want to get Johnny’s attention.

That was the name of the game from the beginning.

But then, men are weird, so I’m not sure how to take it. Then again, I do know I could be overthinking this entire thing, and he might not be feeling jealous at all over me. Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking on my part. But then, that doesn’t make any sense in my mind, either.

Why would I want Zach to be jealous?

I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with Johnny. The whole reason I’ve been spending time with Zach is to get to Johnny.

My mind is a whirl of mixed emotions and confusion as I sit back down at my desk, and while I try to make it look as though I’m taking notes, I’m really just scratching at my paper with my pencil. I can’t focus on anything right now. Not with the joy rushing through me after getting that little bit of recognition from Johnny, while at the very same time I can’t help but wonder what is going on in Zach’s head, too.

I feel Johnny’s gaze on me off and on.

I try not to notice, but there’s no ignoring it at this point.

But, if there’s one thing I am good at these days, it’s staying focused on what I’m supposed to be doing. I keep my eyes down on the book we’re reading, and I’m acting oblivious to the fact that Johnny is sneaking as many glances toward me as he can. He’s totally checking me out, I just know it. And I don’t know what to do with the feelings running through me.

This is a dream come true.

During a moment when he’s writing something down in his notebook, I turn back and give Zach another grin.

“I think it’s working,” I mouth to him.

“Absolutely,” he mouths back to me with a wink.

I turn back to my book and let out a small sigh of contentment. I never dared imagine the day would come when I would finally get to experience Johnny’s attention, and now here I am.

I’m on top of the world right now.

Nothing can touch me in my happiness.

SIXTEEN

TAYLOR

TWO DAYS LATER