Page 11 of Just Our Secret
I ran my hands through my hair, wishing I could keep the evidence that her hands had been there and yet determined to erase any sign of that blessed event. Thank God I was wearing my thick turnout pants because if not, it would be pretty damn obvious that something had been happening when Connor walked in and saw the fire pole in my pants.
“Hey. Yeah, no luck.” Andi said the words like she’d returned to earth. Like she hadn’t been sent to the moon and was still orbiting somewhere out past the ozone, wondering how the hell she could ever go back to pretending she didn’t need to kiss me like she needed oxygen.
Or maybe that was only me.
I faced the wall, pretending to be doing something while really getting my shit together before I looked my best friend in the eye. Was it possible for him to read minds? Would he know that I’d had his sister’s perfect tits pressed up against me and was inches from grabbing her exquisite ass before he walked in?
Probably not, since I felt fairly confident he didn’t have any clue I’d wanted Andi for years now. And that was for good reason.
“He found it. It was on the floor in the bay—must’ve slipped off when he climbed on the truck.” Connor entered the space which shrunk considerably now that the three of us occupied it, followed by Liam hopping on one foot.
“Good. You love that watch, don’t you bud?” I asked dumbly, barely remembering what we were talking about and begging any available higher power to make sure Connor remained oblivious to the dynamic he’d just broken up.
“Mm-hmm, he loves it.” Andi’s voice held a wisp of that sexy, turned-on texture I’d heard in the sounds she made while we kissed.
What does she sound like when she comes?Ohhh, fuck. No. Don’t think about that.Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.
“Hey does your offer still stand to stay and eat dinner here with you?” Connor asked over his shoulder as he followed Andi and Liam into the hallway. “I’m starving.”
“Sure thing. I’ll get changed after I show Liam my coat, and he can try on my hat if he wants,” I told Connor, the best friend whom I was not betraying.
“I want!” Liam said, jumping from one linoleum tile to the next down the hallway.
“You’ve got it.” I couldn’t help my smile, and focused on Liam’s response and general glee at being in the firehouse. On the sweet kid bounding down the hallway and not his mother’s sweet ass a few feet in front of him.
You sick asshole. You’d better get a grip.I could not keep thinking about Andi’s body or mouth or voice or sounds oranything—or I’d do something stupid. I’d forget our situation and the absolute no-go of a scenario we had for ourselves here.
Once back to the bay, I let Liam hold the jacket and he slumped over dramatically from the weight of it. It was only eight or ten pounds, but still huge and heavy for his little hands. Then I let him wear the helmet, which he loved, and one of the guys brought over a little plastic one that we gave out to the tours of school kids. He carried his sticker and wore his plastic helmet proudly.
I did not allow myself to look at Andi. At this point I had years of practice, so you’d think it wouldn’t have felt like clawing up a rope after a long day, but it absolutely did. My eyes would find her in any room on default settings, and I couldn’t allow that to happen, especially now.
After he got the sticker in place, Liam launched himself into my arms and squeezed tight. “Thanks, Uncle Wade.”
“Anytime. I’m so glad you could stop by.” I hugged him back, but my eyes locked with Andi’s when I spoke.
“Thanks for this. It was fun.” She smiled, then pointedly focused on Liam.
Fun.Yes. Hell yes, it was fun. More than fun. A fucking dream. Until the part where her brother nearly caught us, bringing with him the reminder that we couldn’t do it again.
Could we?
No. We couldn’t.
“Like I said, anytime.”
“All right, he’s been properly thanked, Liam’s been showered with party favors, and now it’s time to feed me.” Connor patted his nonexistent belly that doubled as a bottomless pit.
Andi shoved him with one arm while holding Liam’s hand in her other. “You are obnoxious. But I’d hate to see you waste away.”
“I’m getting dangerously close. Sure you guys can’t stay and hang with us?” Connor asked her.
Dread pooled in my gut. I was about at my max for pretending to be normal. If I had to sit there and watch her be adorable with Liam and ridiculously sexy when she chewed on the straw of her water cup, I’d lose it. I needed a break from this ruse of friendly indifference.
“No. This one needs to get home and get to bed. It’s tough to be out late on weeknights while we’re still adjusting to the routine. I’ll see you this weekend though, right?” Her eyes flicked to me, then back to her brother.
Connor nodded. “Absolutely. Up high, my man.”
Liam leaped to smack his hand, and then they were off. Out the doors of the bay and far enough my brain couldn’t trick me into thinking I was still smelling the clean, minty scent of her ChapStick and the sweetness of her skin.