Page 19 of Just Our Secret
As though she read my mind, her fingers whispered along the line of my boxer briefs, and any bit of blood that occupied some other part of me rushed to my cock. Somehow, in my fantasies, I’d imagined being the one to lead things, like she’d need me to. Like, I expected that she’d be the one getting used to the idea of us, so I’d need to ease her in with strategic touches and increasing boldness until we were both as desperate as I had always been.
But I should’ve known. Andi knew her own mind better than any woman I’d ever met, and she always had. How had I forgotten that?
Her hand dipped lower, almost to where I wanted her. Only fleeting thoughts shot across my mind.Closer. More. A little lower. Let’s get naked. Why had we waited so long for this?
Oh.Fuck.
That one got through.
With every shred of self-control I had, I broke our connection and leaned away, distancing our bodies with a step back. My hands now on her shoulders instead of her perfect tits, I mourned the loss of the progress even while logic slowly overtook my otherwise useless brain.
We’d waited because I never let on that I liked her because her brother would hate me. I knew this because he hated Chad. I’d kept my feelings under wraps for years because Connor was my best friend, and I loved him. The fact that I loved his sister too, and in a very different way, made this shit complicated, but it also meant this couldn’t happen.
“We have to stop.”
She gripped the top edge of my pants on either side of the fly. Her knuckles curled against my skin, making my stomach swoop low and my dick twitch, so I grasped her wrists and pulled her hands away.
Her brow furrowed. “Okay. Why?”
Frustration shot through me, though I couldn’t blame her. I still felt hazy and muddled from our little make out. “Your brother and son are outside and could come in any minute.”
Her eyes widened. “Holy shit. Yeah. You’re right.”
Evidently, she’d been as caught up as I had. But I didn’t want her to think that their proximity was the only issue. “And honestly, that’s a problem.Connor. If he finds out, he will cut me out of his life so fast I’ll wonder when he took up quilting. I can’t lose him.” I ran a hand through my hair and heaved a sigh.
“I can understand that.” She chewed on her lip and sighed.
Her teeth on that full lip I’d just tasted and the way her tits strained her shirt a little as her breathing slowed made a hot spike of lust shoot through me. I shook my head, desperate to clear it, and paced into the kitchen to get away from her.
“Yeah, so,” I said, tossing my hands up uselessly. No idea what that meant, but if I stayed close to her, my self-restraint—the ability to keep my hands off her—would dissolve into the ether, and I’d be on her again. Becausefuck, the woman was fire.
“What if we keep it a secret? Connor doesn’t need to know anything we don’t want him to know.” She followed me and stopped to lean against the counter next to me.
Too close. Dammit, I didn’t possess the capacity to be near her like this, knowing she wanted me andhadwanted me, and keep my hands to myself. My fingers caught the hem of her T-shirt and held onto it, her suggestion bouncing around my desire-fogged brain.
If we kept it a secret? I’d be lying. More than I had been before. Not just by omission, but that would lead to straight-up lies. If we ever wanted to go out, I’d have to lie to Connor and say I was doing something else. If I slept with her—shit.Shit, shit, shit.
But if we didn’t keep it a secret, the alternative was… what? Go back to pretending I didn’t want her with every fiber of my fucking being? Pretend I believed I’d someday stumble upon someone else who had her confidence and purpose and loved her people with the same intensity? That I could possibly be happy with someone any less determined and tender and gorgeous than she was?
The answer to that was a resoundinghell no. I couldn’t go back to faking it and acting like I had even the remotest interest in finding someone besides Andi, especially now that I knew her feelings.
I exhaled roughly. “I hate lying.”
She nodded and crossed her arms. “I know. I like that about you.”
I faced her fully and met her gaze. “But I can’t go back. I don’t want to.”
“Neither do I.” She shook her head, her eyes wide in disbelief. “I never thought that you… well, yeah. I don’t want to go back.”
Relief joined the mix of emotions. We were on the same page there, at least. “Good.”
“But there’s another reason we’d be keeping it a secret too, regardless of Connor.”
“Do tell.” I needed to know everything. If there were other factors at play, we needed that all on the table.
“Liam. I don’t bring guys around Liam. And if it was you, it would be even more significant. So we need to see where this goes because neither one of us wants to go back. But let’s keep it between us, okay?”
“Of course.” How could I have forgotten?