Page 30 of Just Our Secret

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I saw on Facebook that Chad is going home to visit his family. I’m not friends with the dick, but he tagged Joe Brickman in the post, so I saw it in my News Feed. You remember Joe, Wade?”

Wade nodded, his eyes darkening. “Yeah.”

“I should have just blocked Chad’s dumb ass, but now I’m glad I didn’t.” Connor cracked his knuckles. “Andi, I don’t think you should go back to visit Mom and Dad next weekend if he’s going to be in town. It’s a small neighborhood, and I don’t want that piece of shit anywhere near you or Liam.”

I nodded, completely blindsided by this turn in the conversation. “Yeah, no problem. I don’t want us to be anywhere near him either.”

“Good,” Connor said with a nod. “Man, I swear. When I think about how my own fucking best friend could be so slimy, even years later, I still want to punch his fucking face again. You know what I mean?”

He was looking at Wade. He was asking Wade if he knew what he meant because for years his other best friend had been just as defensive of me as Connor had been. And yet, on Wade’s part, it was because he secretly liked me and was protective of me in that way, too.

I’d always thought he only cared because I was his best friend’s little sister. While I didn’t let myself think of him like an older brother figure—because gross, my crush was way too big for that—I did assume that was what it was like for him.

Wade put his fork down and nodded at Connor. “Yeah. I know what you mean. The way Chad left Andi when she was pregnant with his kid was slimy as hell.”

I understood the meaning behind Wade’s careful response. He wanted to make it clear that the part that was slimy was leaving me after knocking me up, not the sex. And I agreed. I let the corners of my mouth lift slightly to encourage him. He nodded back almost imperceptibly. This was not the segue into this conversation that either of us planned for, so we needed to tread even more carefully now.

Connor shook his head. “Not just that, though, bro. He had no business with my sister in the first place. He completely took advantage—”

“Hey, whoa,” I held up my hands. “Let’s not.”

“Let’s not what?” Connor asked.

I angled my head at him. “Let’s not talk about me like I’m not here, first of all.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll say it to you, then.” He adjusted in his chair so he faced me more fully. “He totally took advantage of you. Some friend.”

I rolled my eyes even as lead filled my belly. “Connor, I wasn’t completely innocent in that situation. Don’t make it sound like the act of us being together was like a nonconsensual thing.”

Wade looked away and my stomach turned. That couldn’t be easy for him to hear, but it was important for Connor to understand. He didn’t need to twist history into it being worse than it was. Chad had only turned into an asshole after I got pregnant. Before that, he wasn’t a dick to me, and he hadn’t taken advantage of me.

My feelings about Chad were admittedly hard to wrap my brain around. Before we’d hooked up, I hadn’t actually liked him. I liked Wade. But as I’d told Wade, Chad seemed interested when he didn’t. Whenever Connor wasn’t around, he’d tease me or look at me with these cute little smiles. He’d tell me I was pretty, and it was all just so…appealingto my sixteen-year-old self. There I was, pining after a guy who would never want me when another perfectly attractive older guydidwant me.

I told myself that maybe Wade wasn’t the one for me after all and that maybe Chad was. During the sex—my first time—I remembered thinking he liked it. But it happened so fast, and he hadn’t been concerned with me enjoying myself more than being fairly gentle. Overall, the experience was uncomfortable and awkward. After that, Chad was uninterested in a repeat. Since I didn’t actually like him, I figured that was that. Until I peed on a stick.

My whole world turned upside down that day. And because I was young and stupid, my mind immediately flashed to Chad and I becoming a cute little family with the baby. Obviously, I knew my parents were going to freak, and so was Connor, but it was ababy. Babies were blessings. We obviously wouldn’t have gotten married since I was only sixteen, but I pictured us taking the baby to the park and doctor’s visits and seeing Santa. Young, but happy. Not necessarily in love with each other, but was that really necessary if we had a cute baby? And if it was, then maybe we didn’t have to be together, just both take care of the baby and be co-parents. That was a thing, right?

And then I’d told him, and it all came crashing down. Wade and Chad had been over playing video games with Connor. When he went to the kitchen to get a Coke, I’d gone in there and shown him a picture of the test so we wouldn’t be overheard. He’d blinked at it a few times, silently processing, and then he shrugged. Fuckingshrugged.

The next words out of his mouth changed everything. He’d told me to “take care of it.” It felt like I’d been slapped. I lost my shit on him, yelling about how I would never do that, and he’d told me to chill out before my brother heard me. At that point, I really didn’t care what my brother heard. Since I wasn’t going to “take care of it,” my brother would find out he was going to be an uncle either way. The chaos that followed when Connor and Wade bolted into the kitchen was horrible, and I knew I’d never forget it.

Connor frowned. “I know you consented, Andi. But he shouldn’t have gone there. He was my best friend. You’re my sister. It’s fucked up. Either way, just promise me you won’t go home to visit Mom and Dad while he’s in town. I’ll stalk his Facebook and let you know when he leaves, but until then, just stay here. Cool?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, taking a bite of his lasagna and chewing it like he hadn’t just taken a shit all over our big reveal.

I looked across the table at Wade, and the stony expression on his face confirmed what I’d already figured. Now was not the time. I shook my head at Connor and sighed. “It’s fine, I don’t even know anymore. Your news about Chad distracted me.”

He grunted and stretched his arms over his head. “Good dinner, sis. I’m gonna go play video games with the kid.”

“Cool.” I watched as he got up and put his plate in the sink before exiting the kitchen, then I turned to Wade. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” he said, blowing air through his pursed lips. “That fucking sucked.”

His shoulders were tense, and his face was a hard mask. I wrinkled my nose at him. “Sorry if that was weird. What I said. About it being consensual.”