Page 32 of Just Our Secret
I wouldn’t tell her yet. It was way too soon, and I didn’t want to screw things up. We already had one huge secret, and I hated having one from her, but things were good between us. Great, even.
A pleased little smile graced her mouth. “Good. And same. I’d love to say I had a crush on literally anyone else, but no such luck.”
I beamed, my heart swelling at that. Even though she’d told me why she’d slept with Chad—and damn could I punch myself in the face over feigning disinterest after she’d let that one out of the bag—I liked the confirmation.
When I thought about Chad, I thought about Connor. Apparently, Chad posted his plans to head home for Thanksgiving on Facebook, and Connor had seen it and flipped out. Once again reminding me what a shitbird Chad was. He’d railed against him, what a crap human, friend, and man in general. I’d agreed with all of it, carefully wording my responses to make sure I didn’t agree with anything about him sleeping with Andi. Though part of me did think it was sketchy as hell for Chad to have seduced Andi at that age. I remember the hurt and jealousy I’d felt when we’d raced into the kitchen and found her saying in low, broken tones that she wouldn’t get rid of the baby, and he was an asshole.
A tornado had gone off then. Connor had jumped toward Chad, yelling and cursing, and I’d grabbed him in a vice-grip, thankful for the inches and pounds I had on him. But it took a lot to hold him back from pummeling Chad into the floor. Andi had been so mad she’d started crying, telling Connor to stop before running out of the house.
And the whole time, words had locked in my throat and all I could do was restrain Connor until he eventually broke free and punched Chad three times, breaking his nose and bloodying him enough that I’d ended up driving Chad home.
And what had I felt? Rage. Black, soul-deep rage that the asshole would suggest Andi get rid of a baby that was half hers. And I felt something worse. Pain and jealousy so thick and sticky I could hardly breathe through it. Because I wanted to be the one in his place, and I couldn’t convince my mind away from the thought. I wanted it to be my baby, and I wanted that claim on any part of Andi.
I wanted it all not to have happened with Chad, but with me. Yes, I was too young, but so was Andi. I wasn’t ready for kids, not by a long shot, but that didn’t change the illogical thought that swirled around my head like water around a drain.I wish it were me. Why isn’t it me?
“What do you think of this for Connor for Christmas?” She held up a navy-blue hand-painted bowl from the booth of pottery we were browsing and effectively thrust me back into the moment.
“He does love a good bowl.” The man was insane for bowls because, as he claimed, cereal was the greatest food ever invented, and he selected his cereal bowl based on mood like some people chose coffee mugs.
“He’s an idiot,” she said, an affectionate smile on her face.
A pang shot through my heart. Fuck, I hated that at some point soon, we’d have to drop the bomb on him. I hated that we had to fear it and dread it. I hated that we’d been lying to her brother and my best friend for weeks now.
He’d even asked me what I was smiling about one day when I’d stolen a very satisfying twenty minutes with Andi in her car before she had to leave to pick up Liam up from preschool. I’d managed to avoid outright lying until then, and after that, the lies got bigger.
And today was the biggest. I resented having to lie to protect his feelings when we weren’t doing anything wrong. I almost wished we had a reason to break this all open, and yet Connor’s hissy fit over Chad coming back to town for the holiday had made it clear he wasn’t ready to hear it.
Forcing out an exhale to loosen the tightness in my chest, I tugged Andi’s hand until she turned to me. I pulled a little harder and she stumbled into me, one hand on my chest. In front of God, the little booth owner, and whoever else might’ve been browsing the lanes of the holiday festival, I took her mouth in a punishing, needy kiss.
And like always, Andi met me with equal enthusiasm. She licked deep into my mouth, and I returned the favor, eager to do the same to other parts of her. Desperate for her. She pulled away first, but not without a little frustrated groan that made my already hard cock harder.
Her green eyes on mine, all the shit with her brother, her ex, all of that drama was far from my mind. Only the three words I wanted to say—had to say—were on the tip of my tongue. Little puffs of white air escaped her perfect lips, the chill of the late afternoon making her cheeks and nose pink. Man, she was beautiful.
“Wade Baker, is that you?”
I whipped my head to the side to see Sandy Coleson. My mother’s friend and possibly more problematic, Andi’s mom’sbestfriend.
“Oh, and Andrea, love. You’re looking so grown up,” Sandy added, eyes flickering between us with a pleased, Cheshire cat grin.
“Thank you. How nice to see you, Mrs. Coleson.” Andi recovered faster than I did, thankfully, and reached over to embrace the woman.
“Lovely to see you, too. Are you both heading home for the holiday weekend?” Her brows arched in perfectly penciled little half-moons.
“Yes, we are. Wade will be coming over since his mom is working and they’re doing their usual Black Friday Thanksgiving instead.” Andi smiled and nudged my shoulder like this was all fun and games. No big deal.Nothing to see here.
Except she’d already seen it. She’d seen us kiss like we were on fire, and there was no chance in hell this woman wasn’t going to call Andi’s mom the second she walked away from us.
SEVENTEEN
ANDI
“Oh, how nice. And where is Liam?” Sandy asked, looking around as if I’d let him just explore a crowded festival without me.
“He’s with Connor,” I replied with a smile.
“Ah, he’s such a good uncle. So lucky you have him to be a positive male influence in Liam’s life, you know?” Sandy’s smile was warm and sincere.
If she hadn’t been so close with my mom, her statement would have been offensive. But she’d never been anything but nice to us since I’d had my son, so even though Wade stiffened beside me, I smiled at her. “Yes, definitely. Liam loves Connor so much.”