Page 59 of Out of Reach
“How dumb,” Tara said.
“Having fun?” he asked Jude when he returned.
“Sure. But I’m more concerned whether Dex is having fun. I don’t think I have to worry.” He looked over his shoulder to where Dex was still dancing with the muscular man.
“Wow, he came out of his shell fast,” Hawk said when he spotted them. “You want to dance some more? Or do you want a drink?”
“You don’t have to babysit me,” Jude said.
“I’m not. It’s not like I wanna pick up anyone here.”
“You sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. Is that why you’re here? To pick up someone?” Hawk asked, looking suddenly uncertain.
“I told you why I’m here. For Dex.” Jude took his hand. “Let’s dance some more.”
It was never a hardship to dance with Hawk. He was good at it, and they fit together well. Jude had always thought so, but he was shocked when Hawk suddenly voiced it during a ballad.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Hawk asked.
“You’ve just…never said anything like that before.”
Hawk frowned. “That we’re good together?”
“Yeah.”
Hawk looked upset. “Of course I have.”
Jude shook his head. “No. You have not ever said anything remotely like that to me.”
Hawk stilled, the two of them immobile among the swaying multitude.
“I’m sorry,” Hawk said. “I should have told you that. I didn’t realize I never had. I guess it’s just one more—” Hawk shook his head.
Jude hadn’t meant to upset him, but it looked like he had.
Grabbing Hawk’s hand, Jude yanked him after him as he zigzagged through the crowd, past the restrooms to the back exit. Outside, they were greeted by the rank odor of the trash in the dumpsters.
By silent agreement, they walked several yards away from the stinking bins before stopping.
“Look, I’m sorry I said that. The past is the past,” Jude said.
Hawk took a deep breath. “No, I’m glad you did. I want you to know I’m sorry for all the negative things I did and said to you back then. All the times I took you for granted, all the times I wasn’t there for you, all the times I made you cry. I don’t have an excuse. I just didn’t realize that I was being such a jerk. Not until you left me.”
Jude was struck silent a moment. He had thought hearing those words from Hawk—not that he’d ever really thought he would hear them—would make him happy. But, instead, he just felt unbearably sad.
Finally, he said, “You weren’t that bad.”
“Yes, I was. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Jude.”
“Stop apologizing. It’s okay.” Jude couldn’t bear looking into Hawk’s sincere blue eyes.
Thumbing the tear that escaped from Jude’s eye, Hawk said softly, “Looks like I’m still making you cry, huh.”
Taking Hawk’s hand, Jude laced their fingers together. “Now that you’ve apologized for absolutely everything possible, can we please bury the past? For good?”
Hawk smiled. “I’d really like that. But it’s up to you. I have nothing to forgive you for.”