Page 65 of Out of Reach

“Hello?”

Hawk paused, unreasonable panic stirring in his gut. He could hang up right now. She wouldn’t recognize the number.

“Mom,” he said instead, and heard her draw in a breath.

“Alex?”

No one called himHawkat home. It was a name he’d acquired later in the SEALS, derived from his middle name and mother’s maiden name, Hawkings.

“Hi.” Hawk’s heart dropped when he heard her softly crying on the other end. “I’m sorry, Mom.” He could tell she was struggling to get herself together.

“Don’t you dare hang up,” she said. Then he heard her blow her nose.

“I won’t,” he promised, giving her some time. To be honest, he needed it himself. It had been years since he’d heard his mother’s voice. He was a terrible son and a terrible brother. He used to speak to his family occasionally, but after the initial conversation letting them know he and Jude had broken up, he couldn’t bring himself to have inane chats with them. Taking a seat on one of the chairs on the balcony, he waited.

“Where are you?” his mother finally asked.

“Redding, North Carolina. I’m working for a security firm here.”

“Redding. That’s by the beach, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll bet you like that. You’ve always loved the beach.”

Hawk smiled. They’d vacationed at the beach a lot when he was young. “How are you and Dad?”

“We’re okay. Oh, Alex, we’ve missed you. We haven’t heard from you in so long. I ran into Dan Johnson’s mother a while back and she told me you’d left the SEALS. I was shocked.”

Dan had been in Hawk’s unit. He wasn’t surprised his parents had gotten information from him when Hawk hadn’t been forthcoming. “Sorry, Mom. It was just another thing I didn’t want to talk about. I’ve thought about you guys a lot, but…I don’t know. I don’t have a good excuse. I did send Christmas cards.”

“That’s true,” his mother said with an annoyed huff.

“I’m a coward,” Hawk murmured.

“Oh, honey. You’re not a coward.”

“I am about things like relationships, but I’m going to start doing better from now on.”

“And what brought about this change of heart?”

“We can talk about that later. How’s Elizabeth?”

“She’s doing well. She just finished at her art school and she’ll be home next week. She and Brandon will be here to visit next week.”

That would be a good time for you to go and see them,Hawk told himself. Pushing his automatic discomfort at the thought away, he said, “If I can get the time off, do you mind if I come?”

“Really?” His mother sounded so happy, Hawk’s guilt doubled. “You would do that?”

“I want to,” he said. “I’m not sure I can get the time off, but I’ll ask. And…I might bring someone with me.”

“Oh? Who?”

“My boyfriend,” Hawk said.

His mother only paused a few seconds. “That would be lovely,” she said. “We all want to see you so much.”

“I’ll find out and call you tomorrow, okay? And this is my cell number if you need to get a hold of me.”