Page 103 of Because of Blake
“Why didn’t you say you were having a tough time?”
“Because I knew you’d come running up here to take care of me, and I wanted to be alone. But I also couldn’t tell you I was fine, because it would’ve been a lie. So, I opted to do nothing.”
Blake sighs. “Maggie, you could’ve told me it was a bad day, and told me you needed to be alone. I would’ve listened.”
“Looking back, I know I should have, but at the time, I panicked. I chose to ignore it, hoping it would go away if I did.”
“Maggie, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. No judgment, I promise. I’m just curious.”
I turn my head to look at him from the corner of my eye, and I nod.
“Have you ever sought therapy over Charlie’s death?”
Something resembling an offended laugh escapes me, and I fall back against the couch. “Of course I have. I went to grief counseling for months. Up until we moved here, I saw a therapist twice a week.”
“You haven’t gone since you moved here, though?”
I shake my head.
“What about medication? Have you ever thought about that?”
“I don’t need drugs to help me cope,” I bite out.
“Okay, okay.” Blake throws his hands up. “Why haven’t you gone back to your therapist?”
“I don’t know. At first, it was because we were so busy with the move. Then, it became a hassle to find the time, seeing as how her office is across town. After a while, as I adjusted to this new life here, I guess I decided I didn’t need the therapy, so I never went back.”
“Maybe you should.”
I sneer at Blake. “So, now you think I’m crazy?”
“No, of course not. But you obviously still have some stuff to work out, and you’re not talking to me about it.” The hurt in his voice is like a knife slicing through my gut. “It could be good to start up again.”
The sneer fades, and my body suddenly feels as heavy as lead. “It seems like a lot of work right now.”
“Okay, how about this? Today was hard, and as I understand it, the next month is even worse?”
I nod.
“So, here’s what we’ll do. For the next four weeks, I’ll text you every day. Every day, Maggie. And you’re going to tell me how you are. I don’t care if it’s good or bad or somewhere in between, you tell me the truth.”
I furrow my eyebrows, but I keep my eyes on his.
“Then, I’ll ask what you need. If you say you need to be alone, I’ll leave you alone. But if you need something, anything, please tell me. I will drop whatever I’m doing and be here, okay?”
A smile creeps across my face at his words and a tear rolls down my cheek. Blake reaches over and rubs it away with his thumb as he cups my cheek, and I nuzzle into his warm palm.
He inches closer and presses his lips to my forehead. “I’ve missed you.”
As he pulls away to look down at me, the air between us changes. His touch is like a spark, igniting my desire. I flick my eyes to his mouth and whisper his name. Suddenly, his lips are on mine, devouring me furiously. I fall into the kiss. It’s an amazing feeling I’ve been missing for weeks, and I want nothing more than to be locked in this embrace forever.
The front door opens. “Mom! We’re home!” Dylan’s voice rings out from the front of the house.
Blake and I jump apart, out of breath and flushed. When our eyes meet, he grabs my hand, squeezing it gently. “I’vereallymissed you,” he says, his voice low and gruff.
My children round the corner, and as soon as he lays eyes on Blake, Dylan comes bounding across the room. “Mr. Blake! I haven’t seen you in forever!” He leaps onto the couch and wraps Blake in a strong hug.
“Hey, Buddy.” Blake eyes me over Dylan’s shoulder, his gaze full of sad longing. “Long time, no see. How was school?”