Page 44 of Because of Blake
“Ooh, something else happened?”
I swirl my coffee, a smile creeping onto my lips. “He kissed me,” I say quickly before tipping my cup up for a drink.
“What!? Oh, Mags, you’ve gotta give me more.”
“It wasn’t anything big, a goodnight peck on the cheek.” I put my palm to my face where Blake’s lips touched my skin, the feeling lingering as I recall the moment.
“This changes things. I’d bet a hundred million bucks he’s into you.”
I drop my hand back to the table, drumming my fingers again. “What if it meant nothing?”
“Seriously, Mags?”
“I can see the look on your face right now.” The image of Michelle’s one-sided smirk with one eyebrow arched pops into my mind.
“Is it the one I use to judge you with? Because that’s the one I’m making.” She sighs. “No one kisses someone else for no reason. This isn’t Europe, where they kiss each other hello and goodbye.”
“Maybe his parents were French.”
Michelle laughs. “Okay, but what on Earth could possibly make you think the kiss meant nothing?”
“Well, this afternoon, I went to get the mail, and I saw him walking Oscar down the other side of the street. He waved, but then he just went home.”
“So?”
“So, any other time, he would’ve crossed the street to talk. He didn’t this time.” I expected him to jog across the street and at least say hi. It would have been nice for him to scoop me up in his arms and swing me around in the air. Maybe plant his lips on mine while he pushes me up against the mailbox–
“Maybe he had to take a dump.”
I nearly spit out my coffee. “Thanks for that, Michelle.”
“I’m just saying, there are a ton of reasons he didn’t come chat. Needing the bathroom is an obvious one, but maybe something for work came up.”
“He’s a landscaper. That’s not exactly a job where emergencies happen.”
“Okay, maybe his mom called.”
“His mom died.”
“Jesus, okay.” Michelle draws out the syllables. “Mags, what is this about? Why are you trying so hard to play this down? Is it because of Charlie?”
I shift in my chair. Even though I’m not under Michelle’s scrutinizing gaze, I can imagine how she’d be looking at me right now. “I keep wondering how he’d feel about the situation. There’s a lot of guilt associated with all this.”
I picture him watching me with Blake and I feel how much it would hurt him. Not that either of us believed in those sorts of things. We weren’t religious and didn’t have much thought on the afterlife, but with years of beliefs being drilled into us through our parents and society in general, it’s hard not to think about.
“Mags, Charlie would want you to be happy. I mean, I’m sure he wouldn’t be sitting on the sidelines, cheering Blake on as he’s balls deep inside you, but if Blake makes you happy, then Charlie would be on board.”
I chuckle at Michelle’s lewdness. “Why do I tell you things?”
“Because if you didn’t, you’d never get out of your head.” She sighs. “Mags, I know you’re scared. This is a huge step for you, but I think this is a defense mechanism.”
“I’m trying to stay rational. I don’t want to read into things too much. What if I’m taking all these little instances and making them into something bigger than they are?”
“And what if they’re exactly what they sound like?”
My heart flutters at the notion. It’s like I shook my Magic 8 ball after asking if my crush likes me, and all signs point to yes.
Saturday night I’m standing on Blake’s porch at 7:50 p.m. I’m early, but I don’t care. I want to see Blake. I want to dive in like Michelle said. Okay, maybe I’m not going to throw myself at him, but I at least want to test the waters and ask him to dinner.