Page 45 of Because of Blake
Start simple, and go from there.
When I knock on the door, Oscar begins barking, and I hear Blake yelling something. It’s taking him longer than normal to open the door. Oscar is nowhere in sight when he does.
“Sorry,” Blake says, hiking his thumb over his shoulder. “I had to put Oscar out. I didn’t want him jumping all over you again...” His voice trails off as his eyes rove up and down my body. “You look… nice.”
“Oh, thank you.” I hadn’t even given two thoughts as to what I’m wearing. It was such a hot day, I put on my favorite summer dress. The halter top style is comfortable enough to wear around the house on really hot days, but nice enough to go out in public. “I threw this on because it was so hot today.”
Blake swallows. “Yeah, it is, um, was– Itwasreally hot.” He clears his throat. “Come on in.”
I can’t help but smile as I cross the threshold. As Blake follows me into the kitchen, I set a six-pack of beer on the counter.
“So, what are we drinking this week?” Blake asks, tapping his palm on the tops of the beer bottles.
“Oh, nothing special. I asked the clerk what was good and he suggested this. I hope it doesn’t suck.”
“I’m sure it will be great.” Blake takes two bottles and grabs an opener from a drawer. Cracking both open, he hands me mine and our fingers graze slightly, sending shock waves through my body.
“Cheers,” he says, clinking our bottles together.
“And what are we cheers-ing to this week?”
Blake’s eyes soften, the irises growing darker as he tilts his head to the side, and says, “To new beginnings.”
I nod as we both take a sip, assuming he’s talking about our movie nights becoming a new thing, but part of me wonders if he means something else. Maybe “hopes” is a better word for it.
I take my normal seat on the couch, waiting for Blake to sit right next to me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he sits a full cushion away. My heart sinks.
“Um, can you let Oscar in?” I could really use my snuggle buddy right now.
“Oh, yeah. Sure thing.”
After Oscar dashes through the door and we have our ceremonial greeting, he snuggles up next to me, taking up the gap between me and Blake. I’m trying my hardest not to read into things, but it feels like the universe is telling me to keep my distance.
Blake presses play on the remote and we settle in tojustwatch the movie. “I hope you don’t mind, I pickedThe Gray Man.I don’t think it’s scary or anything, but maybe suspenseful. Is that okay?”
Why not? I’m living in suspense right now.“I’m sure I can handle it.”
Halfway through the movie, Blake goes for his usual second beer and Oscar follows, going to the back door and barking. Blake lets him out, but the whole time Blake’s gone from the couch, all ninety seconds, I fight back the intrusive thoughts.
Blake kissed me… On the cheek, but it was a kiss all the same. Another fact is he keeps making movie dates with me. Are theydates,though? If they aren’t, then why did he kiss me? Pity? Too much to drink? Maybe it’s something he does with people he’s more familiar with?
I have no idea, but the more I think about it, the more I talk myself out of asking him to dinner.
When Blake returns, he sits right next to me. Like,rightnext to me. Almost as close as Oscar was. Part way on my cushion, part way on his own, the heat from his body radiates off him, warming my right side. Hints of sage and juniper waft across the air, tantalizing my senses, as he gets comfortable.
We sit like this for some time, but I notice Blake is pretty rigid, not his usual relaxed self. His thumb picks at the label on his bottle and he seems to be chewing on the inside of his lip. Something is quite obviously bothering him.
And I’m not waiting for the movie to end to find out.“Blake, are you alright?”
“Hmm?” He glances over at me, then back at the TV, blinking several times. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“Well, you seem a little tense. You’re destroying that label pretty quickly and you’ve sighed at least a dozen times in the last ten minutes. Is something wrong?”
He sighs again, but this one is the biggest yet. “I wanted to talk to you… about… last week.” His voice wavers. “You know, when I walked you home?” He’s not looking at me at all.
Oh no…“Okay, what about it?” Please say anything but the word “mistake.”I don’t think it’s humanly possible, but my heart races even faster. I know my breaths are short, but I’m trying my hardest to control them. If he even so much as mutters the word, I’ll burst into tears.
“Well, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have kissed you–”