Page 97 of Because of Blake
With a heavy sigh, Michelle says, “Be careful, Mags. These next two months are always hard for you, and I don’t want you to get hurt. Or Blake.”
Me neither.
I spend the entire next week thinking about my conversation with Michelle. Her urging me to talk to Blake about what could happen these next two months replays in my head, but now sounds like it’s coming through a megaphone. The thoughts are so loud, I have trouble concentrating at work. So much so, I have to bring some work home to finish over the weekend.
I only see Blake twice all week, but just for dinner. He doesn’t spend the night which makes guilt churn in my stomach. I’ve been a terrible girlfriend these last couple weeks between ditching him for our vacation and then avoiding him because of the conversation I don’t want to have.
That’s why when my phone rings and I see Blake’s face pop up, I start biting my nails. Today is the last day of March. Tomorrow is April 1stand to anyone else on the planet, I’m sure it’s another April Fools’ Day, but to me, it’s the day that makes me feel like a fool for the way I act.
I’m already acting foolish by avoiding Blake. He deserves more than the wayside, but I don’t know how to keep him around without falling into the pit of guilt I have dragging me down.
But I can’t avoid him forever.“Hello.”
“Wow. Don’t sound so happy to hear from me.” His chuckle echoes through the speaker.
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“I was calling to say hi. See how my favorite girl was doing.”
“I’m okay.”
His tone goes from playful to serious. “Only okay? Maggie, what’s wrong? You sound down.”
“Nothing. Tired. This last week was exhausting.”
Blake is silent. I can almost hear him chewing on my words.
“Blake?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Tired, huh? Well, why don’t I pick something up for dinner and bring it over? So you don’t have to worry about cooking. Would that help?”
It absolutely would, but I don’t want to see him right now. “It’s nice of you to offer, but not tonight. I’ll make something quick.”
“Maggie, did I do something wrong? Ever since you got back from California, you’ve been distant. Don’t tell me you met someone else out there? Some super-hot surfer guy who calls everyone ‘dude’.”
I laugh, but it’s stilted. “No, there’s no one but you.”
“Good. Now what’s wrong?”
I bite my quivering lip, unable to tell him all the things I want to. “It’s an off day. I’ll be alright. How about we do something this weekend? You, me, and the kids,” I offer, even though I know it’s a bad idea.
“I have to wait until the weekend? Awww...” He sounds like a kid who dropped his ice cream. “I guess I can handle that. You need anything, you let me know, okay?”
“Will do.”
“I got to get back to work. I’ll text you later.”
Chapter thirty
Somehow,Imakeitthrough the week of working in the office. I’ve arranged to work from home from now until after Charlie’s birthday. I learned my lesson last year, and from the way Abbey’s been avoiding me, I must look like I’m about to break.
I shake my head. I don’t want to think about that right now.
It’s Friday afternoon. The kids will be home any minute, and Blake will be here not long after. When I offered for us to do something this weekend, he weaseled his way into spending the night tonight.
I shouldn’t be so harsh. Weaseled is a nasty word for it. He’s not a weasel, just a lovesick man who deserves better than me. Better than the way I’ve been treating him. I keep telling myself to change my behavior. To change my mindset and do better. It’s easier said than done, though.
Like clockwork, at 3:15 p.m., the front door opens, and my children come strolling in. Even though they’re practically teenagers, I’m still relieved they’re home safe and sound. Since it’s Friday, Dylan brings his friend Trevor with him. They make a snack and head for the basement. Sydney takes her stuff to her room, and then to my surprise, comes back down right away. My face must give away my shock because she stops in the entryway to the kitchen and frowns.