Page 7 of Riding Rough
I shake my head and roll toward him, resting my head in my palm. “You know what it’s like when you eat a slice of pizza from a shop you’ve never been too before? You’re really hungry, so the pizza tastes good even though you know it’s shit.”
“Okay.”His tone waivers like he’s wondering where I’m going with this.
“Well, Jed was kind of like that. I was starving when we met. I wanted love, and I wanted to believe that he loved me. Sure, he wasn’t Mountain Pizza on Main, but he was good enough… for a while.” I sigh. “I convinced myself that he was right in blaming me. I believed that I’d done this to myself, that I needed too much, pushed people too hard, and made everyone miserable. I started to question if I’d ever be good enough for anyone.”
Kane’s face is red and stressed the same way it had been when he was punching Jed in the face.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he snarls. “It’s just hard to imagine.”
“What is?”
“That anyone would treat you like that. You’ve had a smile on your face since the day I met you. How could anyone hurt that girl?”
When Kane talks, I believe him. His words are confident, sincere, warm, and real. If I let him talk much more, I’ll crawl into his arms and never let go.
I roll over and grab an Ambien from the nightstand. I set the bottle there earlier when I was unpacking. I wasn’t sure if I’d take one, but now I’m thinking I need something to keep me from jumping all over Kane tonight. “I’m going to sleep,” I say, swallowing down the pill before snuggling the blankets up to my neck. “Please lay there. It’s not a big deal.”
He stands from the bed and nods before disappearing into the bathroom. I hear the water turn on, but I’m asleep before he returns.
*******
The sky goes dark and a flash of lightning splits a tree in two with a loud resounding crack. Rain pours down and waves wash, threatening to swallow me whole. I bolt up from the bed screaming, sweat dripping from my forehead. I don’t know where I am.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Kane reaches toward me. The weight of his frame shifts the bed. “You’re okay.” He pulls me into his arms and lays me against his bare chest. We’re both hardly awake, though I’m becoming more and more aware by the second. I’ve never been this close to him.
“It was a bad dream.” I sigh and land my hand on his stomach. It’s the natural place to rest it, but I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be there.
The second I do, he stiffens. “What was your dream about?”
I swallow hard, absorbing the heat and musk from his body. I forgot how much he smells like the woods. “I was being chased through this field in a storm and a wave was coming. It was him. He was in the storm.”
Kane’s rough hand spans up and down my arm in comfort. “You’re okay now, sweetheart. I promise.”
Sweetheart.The sweet name is a dichotomy coming from his rough, graveled voice. I don’t want him to stop. I want the word on loop from his lips for eternity.
Lord, send me help.
My hand is sweating, I’m sure of it. I lie perfectly still, praying he doesn’t move. “How is it that you’ve never found anyone to be with? You’re so sweet.”
He clears his throat. “I, ugh, I’ve dated around. Nothing good came of it, though. It’s a waste of time if you’re not giving one hundred percent.”
“Why weren’t you giving it a hundred percent?”
His fingertips scrub my back gently. “Is your favorite movie stillThe Notebook?”
I blow out a gentle breath. He’s changed the subject, but I can’t figure why. “You remember that?”
“How could I forget? I remember you watching it at the clubhouse while your dad and I did business.”
Oh God. We’re obviously having two different experiences again. He’s holding me like a protector, a favor to my father. I’m holding him like I want his dick spreading me apart. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the Ambien. Without enough sleep, everything is foggy.
“Who doesn’t loveThe Notebook?It’s much better than whatever ancient cowboy movie you love.”
He laughs. “Unforgivenis the western to end all westerns. Anyone would agree.”
“Yeah, if they’re a hundred and five.”