Page 3 of Straight Dad

“Livy? Nah. I can’t imagine she will find anything that I won’t. I mean, you’re not injured.”

“Why’d they hire a yoga instructor as a PT?”

“They didn’t. She went to Pitt.”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“It’s one of the top physical therapy schools in the country. Only the best and brightest get in. The yoga stuff is extra.”

I groan. Great. She knows what she’s doing and she’s torturing me for fun.

“You can take more than that.”

It takes me a moment to recognize he’s reacting to my groan and must think I’m hurting.

“Yeah, go for it.”

We shoot the shit while he stretches my lower body until the guys filter in to get taped for afternoon practice.

My ass vibrates with a text.

Brighton:Will you be my best man?

Along with my sister’s message is a picture of a ring and a video of her with— Is that… Dolly Parton?

Me:Depends. Are you marrying Elias or Dolly?

Brighton:Eli. But seriously, did you see the video?

Me:Not yet. You keep texting.

Brighton:I’ll wait.

Brighton:You didn’t answer me.

Me:I answered I haven’t seen it yet. Were you at a drag show?

Brighton:About the best man thing.

Brighton:And, no. Real, live, in-person queen-of-everything Dolly freaking Parton.

Me:Well, I know famous people too.

Brighton:Do you know DOLLY?

Me:Yeah, she’s awesome in bed.

Brighton:La la la la. I can’t hear you. Go watch. Then say yes!

I flip to her video and am shocked as shit to see her singing on stage with Dolly. She hasn’t shut up about the woman for as long as I can remember. Now, we’ll never hear the end of this.

My siblings are dropping like flies into monogamy and small-town life.

Bright’s words from Thanksgiving echo in my head. “You’re next. Rangers always come home.”

Not if I can help it, sis. Not if I can help it.

TWO