Page 24 of Heartbeat Girl
Liar, I wanted to call Liam out when remembering his disheveled appearance last night—his glassy gaze and swollen lips. He had been doing something with someone, and there was only one female with them. I shook my head, letting it go when I realized how bitter I sounded.
I always encouraged Ruth to have fun, even though she never did, but I couldn’t picture myself saying the same thing to Liam. So I swallowed the argument and wished it farewell. It wasn’t my business. I had my own reasons for being with them. So what if he lied to my face? Whether he fucked someone and got rid of her quickly before I could see her last night or they shared the same women, he was a liar. His lips weren’t that red even after performing on stage.
Jayne, why are you obsessing over it?
I rubbed my temple, not understanding myself. Day number two, and I was unraveling.
Chapter Nine
LIAM
It seemed we would have to feed from backstage workers the rest of the week. Steve loathed the notion and complained about it, but I spent most of my time watching Jayne instead of listening. She flipped through her notebook while talking on the phone. I listened in on her conversation without shame. With more enthusiasm than necessary, she made sure we would have to deal with fans backstage for the rest of the summer. A sigh escaped my lips as I heard something about signings as well. Pete, Steve, and I always grabbed a fan that we knew wanted a moment with us to feed from. I wasn’t aware it was so important that we set up passes and all that. The inability to reason with Jayne on the subject twisted my stomach into knots.
One: she believed we drugged the girl. We hadn’t, but the brunette got high from our bite. The aphrodisiac in our saliva eased the pain, and it was incredibly potent. We tried hard to resist the mingling of our own desires during bloodlust, for that very reason. We didn’t want to take something that might not be wanted if they were lucid. It was completely harmless and didn’t last long, but that couldn’t be explained to Jayne.
Two: Jayne thought we shared that woman. Technically, we had, but not in the way she assumed. We fed together. There was one woman we’d all slept with, but not by choice. For years. Being out of your mind with bloodlust and at the power of your sire, a god wouldn’t be able to disobey either. It was impossible to defy Marilyn.
What our sire did to us, made us do, wastwisted and wrong.The thought of touching her again shriveled parts of my anatomy. I shook the harrowing thoughts away and focused on Jayne.
She rubbed her forehead and exhaled as she placed her phone on her lap. Her action was a normal, everyday thing, but my throat still bobbed.
Ba-thump. Ba-thump.Her heart was calm. She breathed in, out.
I wanted to pluck the tight bun atop her head loose and let her brown hair fall down. She rarely wore it down. If I didn’t know how easily she relaxed and goofed off with Ruth before she left with Amit, I would have assumed Jayne was closed off. But it was only around the band and me that she stayed guarded. And like the string on a bow, I wanted to pull Jayne back tight until she released all that pent-up frustration. The idea, more potent than ever, had my skin crawling with a desire to press my body to hers.
Although angry and still afraid, Jayne was braver andstronger.She ignored her fear and surprised us all with how furious she’d been last night. I shouldn’t have seen that side of her. My restlessness grew as I pondered my sweet, fearful Jayne’s bravery. Maybe we were wrong. Maybe she could accept who we were this time around because she knew us. Back then, it was a sloppy mistake on our part that had her bump into us. But could she acceptmethis time? The thought bloomed in my head until I was on my feet, seconds from striding over to her, when I stopped myself.
Marilyn. Danger. Jayne.
My heartbeat girl was so heart achingly beautiful and fearful. My feelings put her in danger.
We were no closer to ridding ourselves of our sire for good than when we buried her years prior. We placed Marilyn and a few other sires’ names in our songs, hoping someone would reach out to us. So far, the only ones that had wanted to kill us. We had to get rid of them, but with vampires, I had no qualms about permanently ending their undead lives. It was them or us.
It had always been us three against the world. Then I met Jayne and put her right in the middle of something very dangerous, all because I couldn’t stop obsessing about her. Marilyn, even asleep, had a direct link to all my thoughts. I’d never be free from that horrid bond until she was gone forever.
I sensed a unique tether with Jayne. But the thought of breaking free from whatever held me captive to Jayne made my stomach lurch. She ignited a phantom beating within my beatless heart. And that was with her fear and resentment toward me. If she ever gave me any of the looks that I gave her, I might turn to ash.
My fangs pressed against the inside of my closed mouth. I hadn’t realized how emotional I was getting about Jayne until they threatened to push out. I’d never be able to get close to her. No matter how much I kept easing her into my life. The truth settled within my bones like acid. I suddenly wanted to weep for what would never be. Developing a friendship with her could be disastrous. How could I hide who I was? An uncontrollable need lurked right beneath the surface of my skin, begging to burst free and claim her.
I took a step, then another, in her direction, anyway. Before I made it to her, Steve slipped up behind her. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he leaned down and whispered, “Boo.”
Jayne jumped. Her phone flew into the air. Instead of catching it like he should have, Steve let it fall and smack her in the face. When she winced and rubbed her forehead, I grimaced. Steve looked at me, arching one eyebrow as if to say, “See? She can’t handle fear. Nor pain. She can’t handle us.”
I’m going to kill Steve,I thought as I rushed to Jayne.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Jayne,” Steve said, inspecting her forehead. “You frighten too easily.”
Pushing Steve away, I took his spot beside her. “Let me see,” I said, removing her hand so I could see the harsh red mark on her forehead.
“I’m fine. But now I’ll be walking around with a lump on my head,” she said while rubbing it again.
Finally glancing up, our eyes met and lingered. Her mouth parted. I wished I was the bead of perspiration sliding down her collarbone.
As if she read my thoughts, she shoved my chest and stood. “I’m going to go see what I’m dealing with.” She scowled at Steve, pointing at the tiny red bump. “Thanks for that. I’ll get you. Just wait.” Then she walked away.
The second she was gone, I yanked Steve by the shirt collar and dragged him out of the bus. Making sure no one could see us, I slammed him against the brick wall that saidno smokingnear the door. He didn’t attempt to flee.
“If you ever hurt her intentionally like that again—”