Page 25 of Heartbeat Girl
“I don’t want to hurt her.” Steve exhaled, tapping my arms. When I didn’t let go, he said, “I’m trying to show you she’ll never accept us.”
Fuck!I was so sick and tired of hearing she couldn’t acceptme.
I gritted my teeth. “You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s the truth. She saw us once—”
“She didn’t know us then!”
“She still doesn’t like us.”
Doesn’t like us.What a fucking hard pill to swallow.
I released him with a glare, but he continued, “What good will come from you looking at her the way you do? None. The more you care, the more she’s in danger. What happens when you act on your impulses? Nothing good. What happens if she accepted us? Will you turn her? The chances of her escaping our sire’s clutches are slim. If Jayne isn’t a vampire, then she belongs to one. If you ever turn her, then she’ll belong to Marilyn like we do.”
If she isn’t one, she belongs to one.
The truth was, I could create a hundred vampires. In human folklore or a dictionary, that would make me their sire. That wasn’t the reality, though. I’d never be their sire, regardless, of having the ability to turn them. Sires were those we called the dominant ones. All those I turned will belong to Marilynunlessthey became one of the rare sires themselves. Which was something no one’s been able to explain, even our sire. What made a few select people different from the rest? What made them controllers instead of the controlled? The second I awoke after Marilyn turned me; I felt her ironclad dominance over me. It was like taking a claw part of a hammer and wrenching out all my dreams from my flesh and shouting,Here. Take it all. It’s no longer mine, anyway.
Of course, sires reigned supreme because of the power balance that came from the turn. Maybe what decided whether a person became a ruler or an underling had something to do with our DNA. I’d never know, but it fucking sucked. Sires had the power to connect and control everyone they turned or any of those their vampires did. For whatever reason, more women became sires than male. Not that Marilyn got close to others similar in power very often. She liked her influence too much. Anyone with the power to overtake her, she stayed clear of or made her lackeys take care of.
We only discovered Marilyn’s control over us after she had turned us and made us her pawns. Fucking ridiculous. We were stronger, bigger than her in every way, but because of what she was to us, we could never touch her in any way other than what she allowed. That biological rebirth in our brains forced us to obey her.
Finding a sire to kill Marilyn would rid us of all our problems, but only if that person wasn’t worse than her. Because the second another dominant killed ours, they’d control us. And I watched firsthand what Marilyn did to a young woman who became a sire after one of her men turned her. Marilyn killed the newly born sire before she could complete her transformation.
That was my reality, and the reason I needed to keep Jayne out of my world. My ability to keep her safe came easy. Until the day Marilyn awakened. Even so, the idea of not seeing Jayne, being around her…
Instead of anger, my soul wept. I dropped my head, shaking it slightly. “Let me be near Jayne. Why can’t you allow that? Let me sing, perform, look, and justbein her presence. Don’t tell me what I already know.”
“You’re already near her, Liam,” Steve muttered. “What you want is to consume her.”
“I’ll stop when she’s no longer afraid,” I promised. “Let me see her happy. When those thumps in her chest are pounding from joy instead of pain, I’ll stop.”
“I say this because I care about her, too. You don’t glance away from tears like Jayne’s. We killed someone for her, when we said we’d never do that again.”
“I did, not you.”
Steve's jaws tightened. “We were right there with you.”
“It’s different for me.” It was all about my feelings for Jayne.
“I get that. That’s why I’m trying to reel you in some. Adore her from a distance. She’s close enough. She’s sleeping on our bus. I smell her everywhere. If we’re forced to erase her memories again, I won’t let you approach her a second time.”
First encounter was by mistake. But I sought her out the second time after that.
“I’m a part of her life now and don’t want to erase any part of me from her memory.”
Steve smirked and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Remember how fun I thought it would be to have Jayne on tour?” The upbeat tone in his voice told me everything was good.For now.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t realize what a tyrant such a cute thing could be. No drinking from the fans. Backstage passes for every tour starting next week. I had to compel the old lady worker into the bathroom with me to get my food.”
“You’re saying you change your mind?”
“I’m saying I’m going to keep her up all night this week by being loud as fuck.”
I laughed tightly. “Leave her alone. She barely slept last night.”