Page 8 of Where Is the Love
“What’s the difference?”
“One was in middle school, and the other was in high school.”
“It happened at both, actually. I mean… he just told me to stay away from his daughter when we were in middle school. What I told you earlier happened in high school. I wanted to be with you so bad by then, but I knew I would have to wait until we were grown.”
She lifted her head and stared at me for a moment. Lifting her hand, she slid it through my beard as she stared into my eyes. “So you were falling for one of your best friends, Brix?”
“I was in love with mybestfriend, not one of. No one compared to you, Jess.”
I slid my fingertips over her cheek. She looked away and lay back against my shoulder. “Brix, my mama could tell something was wrong. I know she’s gonna want to talk. I don’t want to tell her how I’m feeling about her.”
“Then don’t. Just tell her about Joseph. She doesn’t have to know what you’re dealing with concerning her. There’s nothing she can do about that now. I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid, but it’s just tough.”
“I know. I love my mama, but damn. Why did she have to put up with his ass for so long? The man she’s married to now wanted to take her away from him when I was five years old. She was cheating, and that’s when Joseph first hit her. It didn’t stop after that. He even hit me a couple of times and masked it as discipline for me talking back. I hated him so much. As soon as I could get out of there, I did. He was pissed, too, but I wouldn’t let him stop me.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, baby. You never told me he hit you.”
I could feel the frown grace my features. I was getting angry about something that probably happened fifteen to twenty years ago and by a dead man. “I didn’t want you to try to defend me. The first time it happened, I was only eleven. He said I was too smart mouthed. I always thought I inherited that from Aunt Tiffany or Uncle Storm, but I found out that my mother used to be the same way before she got caught up with Joseph.”
Apparently, Joseph had beat all the fun out of her because all I remembered was Mrs. Jenahra going to church all the time. I could only shake my head at her revelation. I didn’t know how she made it in that house. Jacob, her brother, got to do whatever he wanted, but anytime Jess wanted to go somewhere, she had to act like she was going to a female friend’s house. She would literally drive over there, and I would pick her up.
That all stopped the summer before twelfth grade after her induction into the National Honor Society. That man was evil. I’d heard that her mom had killed him, so I asked to be sure. “Your mom killed him?”
“Yeah,” she said as she shifted. “He was beating the shit out of her because she had reconnected with Carter and found the courage to just leave. I think she felt protected with Carter, like Joseph wouldn’t be able to get to her if he was around. Joseph had come home early and caught her packing. Had she not killed him, he definitely would have killed her.”
“How was she able to get away to get a gun?”
She shifted again. Something was up. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask for details.”
“She didn’t do it, did she?” I asked.
I could always tell when she was lying. She would start fidgeting. She looked up at me, silently pleading with her eyes. “No, but she took the wrap. You can’t say anything.”
“You know I would never say a word.”
“My uncles showed up, because Jacob had gone to Granny’s house, and Mama was taking too long to join him. Plus, Aunt Aspen had witnessed Joseph manhandling her at Aunt Chrissy’s wedding. She told Uncle Storm, although my mom had begged her not to. It took her a few days to tell him, but it seems she told him right on time, because they went down there… all four of them to witness him beating the shit out of her. Uncle WJ killed him.”
I nodded repeatedly. Her Uncle WJ and her mom were pretty close. Mrs. Jenahra had done a good job at hiding the abuse she was going through. He should have picked up on it long before it got to that point though. I pulled Jessica back to me and held her close. “So tell me about the man that broke your heart, baby.”
I gently slid my hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her. I could feel her trembling. I couldn’t believe this shit about Joseph was still tormenting her. She used to tremble like this all the time when she talked about him. Rehashing everything had the same effect on her. “There isn’t much to tell. We were together for a year, but for the last four months of it, I felt like I was in a relationship alone. I broke up with him. He was Nesha’s brother-in-law, unfortunately. He still calls from time to time to tell me he loves me, although neither of us said it while we were together.”
I frowned. “Y’all were together a year and had never said that you loved each other?”
“No. When I wanted to say it was when his behavior started changing, so I kept it to myself. He decided to tell me after we broke up that he loved me all along. I promised him that he wouldn’t get me back by telling me that, but he continues to say it anyway. I wondered if he loved me when he cheated.”
I held her tighter to me. She was masking a lot of hurt. Just the fact that she was talking to me about it made me feel like we still had that special bond we had in school. She stared up at me for a moment, then grabbed my beard, pulling me to her, and gave me a tender kiss on the lips. “Thank you for listening to me, Brix. You were always a really good friend.”
I pulled her back to me and kissed her again, allowing it to linger a bit. “I wanna be more than a friend now, Jess. I know you have a lot of shit going on right now, but I’m gon’ be here for you… always. I ain’t going nowhere this time.”
She didn’t respond to me. She laid her head against me, and within minutes, she’d fallen asleep.The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
CHAPTERTHREE
JESSICA
“Maybe if you make her back her big ass away from the table, she could lose some weight. She’s gonna be as big as your sister.”
“Our daughter is a beautiful young woman, Joseph, and so is Chrissy. Her size doesn’t matter.”