Page 9 of Where Is the Love

“No daughter of mine is gonna be walking around looking like she done swallowed a whole ass Buick! Do something or I will!”

My eyes popped open, and I realized I was still laying against Brixton.Shit.What was I still doing here? I came here and spilled all my damn emotions and messed around and fell asleep. Talk about déjà vu. When I was sixteen, I’d come here to talk about Joseph and was supposed to be at my homegirl’s house. I had fallen asleep and missed curfew by an hour. Thankfully, Joseph had fallen asleep as well, or I would have gotten my ass whupped.

I sat up, and Brix did too. “I didn’t want to wake you up. I figured if you fell asleep, you must have needed the rest.”

I gave him a tight smile then stretched. Looking at my phone, I saw it was just about midnight. I had to have slept a couple of hours. He’d judged me right, because I was definitely tired after only getting about three hours of sleep early this morning. “I’m sorry, Brix. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’ll call you in the morning. Okay?”

“You don’t have to leave, Jess. We’re not kids anymore.”

It felt like I was after that dream. I hated dreaming about his ass. It seemed the counseling I went through after his death was for naught. The dreams had never stopped, but in true Jessica fashion, I’d made it look easy. No one knew the turmoil I was in and why it was hard for me to trust people. I couldn’t trust my own father.

I stared Brix in the eyes as he caressed my cheek. “You’re so beautiful, Jess. Time has been so good to you.”

I smiled slightly. “It’s been good to you too.”

“Naw. You see these crow feet around my eyes?”

I giggled. “That’s not crow feet, boy. That’s just how your eyes are, especially when you’re feeling sensitive.”

His eyebrows lifted. “What makes you think I’m feeling sensitive?”

“You always are when I’m around, spilling all my fucking emotions on you. I thought things would be different since we hadn’t talked in so long, but just like old times, I felt comfortable telling you things I haven’t told a soul.”

That shit was weird as hell. I never even told Decklan about my upbringing. People just assumed it was great because I didn’t give them a reason to think that it wasn’t. They saw I was connected to the Henderson family, so things couldn’t have been too bad. The Hendersons were known for their wealth and status. They were also known for being good people. If they only knew the half.

For the most part, my mama and her siblingsweregood people, and my grandparents were now too. It wasn’t always that way though. Secondly, the Hendersons had nothing to do with the recent drama from the Monroes and the Boltons. The Boltons were Aunt Chrissy’s first set of in-laws. Her first husband had molested my cousins. He was probably one step away from molesting me too. He used to look at me weird all the time. I was so developed for my age though. That was what probably kept me safe. I didn’t look like a little girl.

Brix pulled me close and kissed my forehead. His kisses were everything. This was my first time feeling his lips against mine this way though. When he pulled me back to him and kissed me, I wanted to slide my tongue to his. That was my vulnerability leading the way. That was the mistake I’d made with Nate. Thankfully, this time I wasn’t drunk and was able to contain myself.

“I’ve carried your soul in mine for years, baby. When I picked up the nerve to contact you, you were involved with someone. I convinced myself that you had long forgotten about me and that I needed to move on too. In my mind, I felt like you were feeling me, too, and I realized that was something that I had imagined… hoped.”

I looked away from him for a moment, reminiscing about the time we shared. “I had a slight crush, but you were my friend. I didn’t know you were feeling that way. Why did you have to pick up the nerve to contact me?”

“It had been so long since we’d talked. I didn’t think you would be receptive.”

Just like he knew when I was lying, I knew he was lying now too. “Tell me the truth, Brix.”

He took a deep breath and slid his hand over his mouth. “Joseph said I wasn’t good enough for you. My family was struggling, and his daughter deserved better. You deserved someone who would be able to take care of you.”

“Fucker,” I mumbled. “You ever wondered where we would be had he not interfered?”

“I don’t wonder. I know. You would be my wife and the mother of my kids by now. That shit is going to take a lot more convincing now though.”

“You’re off to a great start,” I whispered.

Brix grabbed my chin and turned my face to his. He didn’t hesitate when he laid his lips on mine. He was taking what he wanted, and that shit turned me on more than a little bit. When he deepened the kiss and slid his hand to my waist, my body trembled.This is Brix, bitch! Your best friend in school.My thoughts were trying to make me stop this, but we were far removed from high school. I couldn’t stop.

His tongue slid to mine, and I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. It didn’t seem like he was going to be taking things as slow as he’d said, unless he was teasing me. His hand slid down further to my hip, and my middle had begun to pulsate. However, when I heard a noise, I pulled away from him to see his mother coming down the hallway.

Her nose was red, and she had tissue in her hand. When she looked up and saw me, her eyes widened. “Jessica?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said as I stood.

She smiled big. “I would hug you, but I’m sick as a dog. I would hate to pass this to you.”

“I take vitamin C. I need a hug.”

I went to her and hugged her tightly. This woman always treated me like a daughter, and she provided what I was missing from my own mother at times. When I saw her telling her husband off and giving him the business, that was foreign to me. I just knew he was going to go upside her head. When that didn’t happen, I was in a different world. All I knew was the relationship between Joseph and my mother.